Many times, I overlook what Sam does as a father and husband. I see the mess, or the annoying little habits, or the whites of his eyes as the roll of them nearly knocks him unconscious when I start to nag.
These posts never get a lot of feedback, and I know why. It’s boring to hear someone drone on and on about how perfect their marriage is – and mine isn’t. But if you’ve read or known what we’ve been through the past year; how we went to marriage counseling, how we screamed and threw things at each other when we got angry, how I was so unhappy because I had to control everything he did, how he drank till I left him, how we finally pulled each other out of the pit of misery with AA and more counseling – this post is not only due, but well deserved.
The other day we tried out a new church. Since I can count on one hand the number of times we’ve left Bella with someone while Sam and I went somewhere, I knew it was going to have to be one heck of a nursery for us to consider dropping her off. Luckily, it was. Complete with 3 volunteers, a number coordination for me/her/the diaper bag, and a pager. Bella promptly shunned us when a shiny red ball appeared, and Sam and I left hand in hand.
I was thrilled.
We had coffee and chatted, then right before the service started, Sam suggested we go peek in on her. As we peered through the windows, I saw her crying. One of the ladies was holding her, but Bella was pretty upset. In the “what happened to my Mama and Daddy?” way.
Without saying a word, but with a look of utter concern, Sam walked into the nursery, grabbed her pacifier and stuffed puppy from her diaper bag, came up behind the lady and handed them to her. All without Bella seeing. Then she began to calm down.
We walked to the service and I saw him looking bothered. “What’s wrong, was she ok?” I asked.
“Oh yeah, she’ll be ok.” Pause. “I just don’t like leaving her because she doesn’t understand we’re going to come back. She was really sad.”
I melted and smiled up at him. He was so concerned. “She has to get used to this though, you know? She’s got to learn to be with other adults, but if you’re still worried, you can go back and check on her or get her – it’s ok.”
He shook his head and said I was right, then took my hand in his and squeezed it. As the service began, I noticed the pager the nursery had given us in case anything was wrong – had slid from his pocket to the zipper on his jacket. Up against his chest. So there was no way he would miss it going off.
Sometimes, I forget how truly blessed I am to have this kind of a man in my life. Someone who would fight for our country, defend his family at all costs, get up and go to work every day to provide for us, and ache for his little girl in the church nursery.
Twitter: Sutherslat
says:
I love your honesty, and I love this post. So sweet. I’m totally the same way about forgetting to give The Husband credit for all the wonderful things (big and small) he does every day and instead I get caught up in all the little stuff he does wrong. I’ve started making a conscious effort to thank him every day for something he does that would normally go unnoticed. And it has helped. Both my attitude and our relationship.
Jess @ Bringing Up Baby just wrote So You Want Some Blocks of Your Own
Sometimes, no matter how hard we try to mess it up, Gods plan for us shines through. I am always reminded of that when I am with my husband. He truly is the perfect man for me and we are an amazing team. You and Sam are made for eachother and when you get out of the way of yourself, it just works so beautifully! I’m so happy for ya’ll, you are such a strong couple!
Twitter: TheNextMartha
says:
Awe. this is so sweet. Maybe that’s what I’m missing. God daycare. Sounds divine.
Twitter: babyfeet3
says:
So awesome, Diana. He IS a great dad and husband. I love seeing how far the two of you have come. (Art and I have come this far, too. We’ve all had to do these things. You’re not alone in fighting for your marriage. Don’t forget that.) Love and hugs
kim just wrote Sick & Tired Of Being Sick!
Twitter: bransonlee
says:
This is beautiful, and I am so glad you shared it. It is so important to record those little moments that remind us that we are married to amazing people
branson just wrote GUEST POST- The Right to be ME
Twitter: tabetha2005
says:
This is a beautiful post and so honest. None of us have a perfect marriage, but we have ones that are perfect for us.
And it is wonderful to write sometimes about the little perfect things about our marriage.
Tabetha Smelser just wrote Feathers on the Ground
Twitter: Sx3inSC
says:
It is easy to fall into the rut of always and only remembering the bad things-the things that annoy us-the things we wish we could change- about our loved ones.. The hard part is to make ourselves find the good on a regular basis that reminds us why they are our loved ones..
I have been gone from the blogging world for quite some time as I sort through much change in our lives but I come here off and on to catch up on yours.
I always admire your honesty, your writing is beautiful. And open.
Praying for you, for Sam, as you take each day one day at a time and move closer to your path of walking together as one and raising little Bella. Smiling for you. Keep hanging in!
Twitter: jensquard
says:
I’m not going to lie, this made me cry like a baby. I grew up with a terrible father, so every time my hubby does something amazing to my kids I just melt all over the place. Love your blog, lady!
This is a beautiful post. You are so right. We so often focus on the little annoyances that we miss the little beautiful moments, and the big picture.
Dallas just wrote All Growed Up – My Product Review
Twitter: notmommyofyear
says:
Oh, that’s so sweet. He has such a bond with his little girl. Craig does too. Last night he left for a meeting and poor little thing cried and cried (she never cries when I leave). Of course she was done crying 4.7 seconds after he left, but he didn’t know that. So, five minutes later I got a text asking if she was OK and if he should just come home. Loved it.
Twitter: DesiPayment
says:
I enjoyed this story. Even if it was something sweet and not full of drama and turmoil. I like to hear the good things. You and Bella are very lucky.
Desi just wrote this is why i needed a girl
as a daddy’s little girl myself – that is just beautiful!
Not There Yet just wrote Winter Blues
Twitter: d_unpolished
says:
The hormones made me cry, I swear. Anyway, it really is important that we stop and focus on what our husband do and the relationship they are developing with the kiddos. It’s so easy to remember the things that aren’t being done or that could have been done differently… but they are doing the best they can too.
D just wrote Running Theme- Honesty
What an awesome post on what a great dad/husband Sam is. You are a lucky gal.
Twitter: add_vodka
says:
Awe, this gave me shivers.
So sweet!
Love, love, love this post! Little girls have a way of softening a daddy’s hard exterior. Miss Bella and you are very lucky ladies.
Tammi just wrote Whats going on
Twitter:
says:
Awwwwwww!! This is a really nice post. You two have come so far together, glad you’re on the same page and reconnected. Isn’t it funny how much dads worry when we don’t even think they’re paying attention?
Alexia just wrote Wordless Wednesday- Maxin and Relaxin
So sweet <3. I'm excited to see you guys next weekend! How was the new church btw?
Oh wow… this brought tears to my eyes. I see similar moments in my husband and I too get all irritated about him leaving little things a mess. You reminded me, I do need to post about this too.
Ruby just wrote Photo Update- Playmats- Sesame Street and Food- oh my!
Twitter: MrsMidatlantic
says:
This is such a beautiful post – I can really see how much love you and your husband have for each other. Through good times and bad, you are both putting forth such a wonderful effort to be there for each other.
Twitter: suzstreats
says:
What a beautiful honest post.
Twitter: findmynewnormal
says:
I found you through reflection of something. What a beautiful honest post. I am your newest follower.
Finding My New Normal just wrote Bloggy Love
Twitter: bkatedesigns
says:
What a great post! Sam and you are excellent parents who care about Bella!!!
Twitter: rustilyn
says:
this reminds me… I really should make more of an effort as well to thank my husband for the things he does for our toddler and myself regularly, instead of sniping at him for the things he doesn’t… I truly am blessed, I just forget to remember that. thanks for the reminder.
Rusti just wrote still got it PART VII
Hi there,
Stumbled over to your blog a few days ago and have read a number of your posts. I never tend to comment on blogs….since I don’t have one myself I sort of feel like I’m trespassing in someone else’s life without giving them the chance to look into my own….but I just wanted to let you know that your blog is wonderful – a touching and very real portrayal of married life.
You have managed to write the transcript to the internal dialogue I know a lot of women have…
Cheers!
Jenny