The Blogger Bubble

“I don’t understand,” the mom says, leaning forward. Her eyes are full of confusion and doubt. “Why on earth would you want to homeschool?”

And I? Am stumped.

Not so much as why – but how to explain it to her. I want to tell her to hold while I type out a post or pull up an old one and then have her read it.

As I stumble my way through talking about it, I begin to realize we are on different pages. More so than she and I thought previously. Not bad ones. Not better ones. Just different.

This is one of the first times I’ve started to see how much of a bubble blogging can put you in.

I started this blog and found a community of women that tend to have the same ideals, values, thoughts, and lifestyles as me. Even when we disagree, or we do things different, they know enough of my history and I theirs to have a mutual understanding of the hows and whys in our decisions.

Real life? Face to face? New moms? Not so much.

At times, it still startles me to run into a mom who, no matter what I say, isn’t going to see my side of things. Because on here? Those people usually read and click off. I never even knew they found me.

So sometimes transferring the community I’ve found to voice my opinion and really find my niche can turn into me being very vocal on topics some people have no knowledge on or don’t want to talk about. I forget not everyone “gets” homeschooling or cloth diapering or being an Army wife. Or vice versa – I don’t understand why someone wouldn’t want to hear about how my husband is a recovering alcoholic, we nearly lost our home 3 years ago, and I had a rough pregnancy. I dive into details that make some people uncomfortable.

There is a fine line in all this. I’m proud that blogging has changed my voice from unsure to stable and strong these past two years, because I know there are women out there who deal with things I’m dealing with. But it’s crucial for me to remember that this tends to be a bubble, and if I believe in something, there are people who will ask why and how or just plain disagree with me. And I’ll have to give them an answer in that moment. One that needs to be carefully weighed with how we know each other.

However, in the case of the snobby millionaire moms at my last playgroup, nothing pleased me more than to inform them all that we were poor, renting, didn’t have a nanny, no housekeeper in sight, and haven’t taken a vacation in years. The look on their horrified faces as it sank in that they had actually spoken to me at one point (and let their child *gasp* play with mine) was worth spilling my guts, then never going back.

And I can thank this blog and it’s bubble for the balls to pull that one off.

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12 Responses to “The Blogger Bubble”



This is just so interesting to me because I find my life works in the opposite direction. I live in a crunchy bubble here on the border between VT and NH. Everyone I know shops at the food coop (because it is truly amazing.) Everybody wants to know where their food comes from, and organic snack ideas are traded like baseball cards. My kids go to school in a crunchy bubble (a Waldorf School) and I am at times the least crunchy person in the room, which is saying something.
The conversation tends toward how to cook with coconut oil, cloth diapering, and where to find the holistic pediatric dentist.
And on Goodreads my new novel got a two star review from someone who found the subject matter just too… crunchy. My competitive electronic world always feels so much more judgmental than the real one!
Present company excepted, of course! ;-)
Sarah P. just wrote Publication Day & Book Tour Info




I am also living in the land of Crunchy Bubble (Western MA, hi Sarah! we must be near each other). Where also, everyone wants to know where their food comes from and the hot topic this time of year is which farm one is getting their summer CSA share from. The BEST PART about living out here is that people really seem to get that my choices aren’t going to look like their choices and that is okay. I’ve never felt the need to keep up with The Crunchy Jones. Hopefully, you’ll find your tribe IRL. And if not, there may be things you can learn from your exact opposite (and likewise them from you).
NJ @ A Pocket Full Of Dinosaurs just wrote Unworking From Home.




Okay, I can’t help but ask: How did you get into that play group in the first place? Personally, I love blogging because I’m shy in real life. When I blog, I say things I can’t say out loud. I’m still seeking my niche, but I’m developing some very good friendships.
Cynthia M just wrote Welcome to the World




Diana | twitter: @lifeasaSAHM

It was a group of moms in my area that had a meetup group and I met up with them.

It’s not that I don’t love blogging. It’s that for me, there is just a fine line between saying things on here and being able to say them in real life. Regardless of friendships.




angela | twitter: @angelaamman

This is so true. With such a wide community of supportive people, sometimes I forget that the people I know IRL are not of the same mindset.




Kate |

At least they were at a playgroup with their kids. I used to work at a school where 99% of the kids were from upper middle class families and a lot of the SAHMs didn’t seem to actually do anything with their kids. I once overheard one mom complaining to another mom about the huge mess her (extremely developmentally disabled) 4 year old son had made all over the basement clubroom with the contents of his diaper the previous day. The other mom was very sympathetic but I thought she kinda deserved it for leaving him unsupervised for so long.

PS: Vacations with toddlers are vastly overrated.




SO true! I found that I thought only my blogging friends breast fed toddlers and used cloth diapers and co-slept. It all goes back to judgement to me, like explaining the choices we make we somehow have to defend why we chose it, knowing we’ll be judged for it. Wish we could irradicate judgement all together!

I found my Mommy BFF at one Meetup group that sucked (seriously I had NOTHING in common with these ladies). Not only do we have very similar ways of parenting but our daughters are besties and we both blog.

And the biggest breakthrough for me this past year? My local babywearing group. All like-minded mamas, or at least like enough to not judge differences. My group is large and varied with lots of different age kids and experiences. And most of us go to the local La Leche League meeting too. Maybe that’s a good place for you and Bella to get started in your new community?




Laura | twitter: @LauraORourke

Oh, I totally know that feeling. Lately I’ve been catching myself from sounding like the know-it-all Mom. I’m so used to laying out my opinion on things and telling the story of my experience that I forget everyone has different experiences and come from different places. I feel like I just need to start handing out “business cards” with my blog address and writing “If you’re interested in knowing my thoughts on this subject, go to this link and search…”
Laura just wrote I Was Home – Faces of a Family




Tonya |

So – I am new here :) I love your blog. Is “crunchy” a commonly known adjective to describe moms who do things like breastfeed long term, homeschool, recycle, garden, etc. etc.? :) lol. I am from Seattle and I guess I fit this bill… but I have never heard of Crunchy :) lol

- Tonya




Anne-Marie | twitter: @DoNotFaint

Oh my goodness, I have a much harder time making new friends here in town. I feel super close to you, because we started off this (online) friendship knowing we had so much to talk about. How in the HECK am I supposed to do that with people I don’t know anything about? The very idea makes me anxious. (Okay, so everything happens to make me anxious, but this in particular.)

Also, having been raised in a family with no boundaries when it came to public/private, I love that I can blog whatever I want in however much detail I want without getting weird looks. Does it make me sound even crazier than I am to prefer this to interacting with strangers face-to-face?
Anne-Marie just wrote Today, Everything is Just Right




Krysta | twitter: @krystahoefgen

Great timing with this post! We moved to a new town in a new state a few weeks ago. We don’t know ANYONE here. I joined a moms and tots meetup group and our first meeting is tomorrow. I’m NERVOUS!!
Krysta just wrote Update




Teresa | twitter: @TeresaThinks

I personally don’t have the patience required to home school my kids, but I wish I did! I was homeschooled for 4 years and I didn’t like it so much after the 2nd yr. I wouldn’t tell someone they were crazy for wanting to though! Wow.
Teresa just wrote cupcake for a cupcake




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