Can you keep a secret?

No they’re not triplets.

No we aren’t moving.

No I didn’t get another job.

No I’m not feeling all better.

Ok, now that those are out of the way…

I’m really, really glad Bella gets to be my only little girl. 

HEAR ME OUT.

I would have been thrilled to pieces if the tech had said, “Two girls!” So would have Sam. We would have come home and gotten our pink overload on, and loved every minute of it.

But.

I really wanted a little boy. And the more I kept thinking about how Bella and I are so close, how I’ve gotten to experience all my “girl firsts” with her, from tea parties to playing in the dirt in a dress to dolls (and she’s a total tomboy as well – those dolls ride in her trucks and it’s HARDCORE driving) – the more I realized I wanted it to stay that way. I wanted her to always be my only girl.

Any gender combo would have been lovely. As long as they were healthy and ok, I didn’t really care if she told us they both had small tails. Any preference I had leaned towards would have vanished in an instant. I didn’t guilt myself over it because I knew that. But hearing they were boys – my heart melted. I looked over at Bella and I was content. I had my boys and my girl – and now because I simply can’t do this again, I’m ok with that a little more than I was.

I’m thankful. For it all. For 3 little healthy, active little ones both in and out of me.

Now. No more surprises or secrets or anything, mmmkay? Let’s just have a nice, normal twin pregnancy.

::giggle snort:: Yeah right.


Comments

  1. Congrats on the boys! It’s amazing to have those stinky little dudes in your life. Now, if we try again, we’ll get a girl, right?

  2. I totally get it. I’m just the aunt, and *I* am glad we did all the girl things with my niece first. I sewed dresses, took dolls to Paris after the introduction of Madeline books, talked princesses, learned the different between “hot pink” and “magenta.” I also sent her her first garbage truck (the girl loved those things–I think her third word ever was “BINS!”) – it wasn’t all pink and sparkles. Still, it’s been pretty awesome, even taking into account her preoccupation with MY wardrobe: “I really like the purple better” she says, hand on hip, aged five.

    I don’t know if it’s my nephew’s personality, birth order or everything, but the boy is so cuddly and easy to hang out with. His little suit for his church blessing (our church doesn’t do baptism or christening) made me swoon in a whole new way. And since Sis, like you, was DONE after pregnancy #2, I love the way it all worked out. Playing house with him is a whole new experience.

  3. Rachel @ The House of Burks says:

    I completely understand that. This is a very poor way to phrase it, but the boys will be “special” because they are twins, and Bella will be “special” because she’s the only girl. They are all special for many more reasons than that, but I can’t think of a better way to phrase it. :)

    • I do know exactly what you mean! Just like a firstborn son is “special” because he’s the big brother, the last one being a little girl is special because she’s the baby – I get it. They all get to be special in our eyes in their very own unique way.

  4. So glad you and Sam are getting your little guys!! And I totally understand what you’re saying, that mother/daughter relationship is just so incredibly precious. Congrats again to you guys!

  5. This pretty much sums up how I felt when I found out Gabriel was a boy. It wasn’t that I wouldn’t have loved another little girl- believe me if he had been a girl? I would’ve loved every second of doing the girl overload thing with Leah. She would have gone shopping immediately for matching outfits for her baby sister and herself. BUT even Leah was hoping it was another boy. We have such an amazing bond and relationship and it really is so special to me. I kind of love that it’s our own special thing that just she and I share.

  6. I totally get this. I think your relationship with Bella will always be special. Just as you’ll have a very different but just as important bond with your boys (eeek! your boys!). Totally totally WAY excited for you.

    I love that you’re giving us all the details :)

  7. Same with how I felt when we found out #2 is a boy. I’m so glad to have one of each, and I can’t wait to see Laura as the bossy big sister! She is so going to be the Ruby to Gavin’s Max. Bella is lucky to have two little Maxes to boss around!!

  8. I totally understand. My son wanted a lil bro and my daughter did Not want me to have a little girl. I am relieved to be having another boy. My daughter would have been so jealous. :/

  9. I totally get this! I would have loved for Sophia to have a younger sister to play with and dress up and do girl things with them together….I was amazed at the emotions I had when I found out it was a boy. Like my heart never wanted to really admit it had a preference. But it did. I wanted a boy to play Buzz Lightyear with, or to play football, or to wear cute outfits with tiny little whales on them.

  10. Such an honest post! I love it because (can you keep a secret?) I’m really hoping that this baby in my belly is a girl for many reasons. One, because I know that it’s a high probability that this is our last pregnancy. Two, I have had a girl name picked out since I was 12 and I would really hate that to go to waste. And three, I really want Henry to be my only boy. Will I be happy with a boy? Of course. I will love him just as much as his brother…but today? I’m team pink.

  11. When I was pregnant with my second, I wanted another boy. I knew what to do with a boy. I was more scared of how to handle sharing my time…but then we found out the baby was a little girl…and I realize now that deep inside, I am so glad. I am glad my son gets to be the big brother and can proudly say he has a little sister. And, honestly? She’s just what our family needed to be and feel totally complete.

  12. That makes perfect sense! I constantly feel weird telling people that I honestly would be ok if I only had boys… the looks I get are crazy. Especially from my mom! Some people can’t possibly believe that I don’t really want a girl so I’ve just stopped sharing it with people. Like you said… if I were to have a girl I would of course be over the moon and not think twice about it. But there is nothing wrong with having preferences, it’s human nature. As always, thanks for your open and honest rhetoric. It is refreshing!

  13. I only have one coming, and I don’t know the gender – but, like you said – I’ll ultimately be happy as long as the baby is healthy, but as far as what I think would be ideal?? I go back & forth, especially as there is a very good possibility that this will be our last child (my chances for twins are high, and while we could do three, I’m not sure how well we’d do FOUR!) but….

    I love love LOVE doing fun “girl” things with Goose, and as I grew up as one of two girls (and loved it) I would be thrilled for Goose to grow up with that experience as well (plus we’d get to re-use all those adorable clothes we already have, AND we “know” how to do “girl” already) but I also think a little boy would be awesome – ESPECIALLY if this is our last, I think Hubs would enjoy a boy (not that he doesn’t already fully intend to take Goose hunting and fishing with him – she’s going to be Papa’s little hunter!) but I think it would be nice – also, my sister’s two youngest are the same ages as Goose and the baby, and hers are girl, boy – so if we have a boy – they’ll all just kinda “fit”… really though, I’ll be absolutely thrilled no matter what gender this baby is… can’t wait to find out in about 4 weeks!! (eeeek! it’s coming so fast!!) :D

    ps – Goose says that “a brover would be okay, but I reawwy want a stister, Momma” ;) we’ll see little Goose, we’ll see…

  14. I’m with you. I was so excited for Katie to be a girl. I wanted Parker to be my little boy and not have to share that. I know its hard to explain but its different but equal emotions with each of them and I love that :)

  15. I freaking love you! I’m a few weeks behind you at 13 weeks preggo with twins, and a 2 yo son at home. It’s so amazing to read a blog that talks about twins, and has the experience of having a toddler too. We were super surprised to learn that there were 2 babies, but now that the shock has worn off, I can’ help but dream about what they will be. At times I hope for 2 girls, I always wanted a sister, and the bond they share, but one of each would be fun too. I admit to be a little fearful of 2 more boys…but as always…all I really want it 2 healthy and as close to full-term babies as possible. Thanks for sharing your journey! I’m a huge fan!

  16. I so get this :) Boys are so different and just as fun. You’ll get to expeirence a whole truck load of firsts!

  17. Thanks for the marvelous posting! I genuinely enjoyed reading it, you can be a great author.I will ensure that I bookmark your blog and will often come back sometime soon. I want to encourage that you continue your great job, have a nice afternoon!

  18. I just now found your blog as I was browsing pinterest (so addicted, haha) and was excited to find a new blog my a fellow army wife. I really enjoyed reading some of your posts and just wanted to say congratulations on your two little ones on the way! Many blessings! Ps, I added your blog button to my blog home page :o).

  19. 2 boys!!!! I have two boys as well…abeit 4 years apart, so a little diffrerent! but loads of fun. =) congrats.

  20. Boys are amazing!! In all honesty, I truly thought my 3rd was going to be a girl. To the point that when my doctor told me it was a boy, I was a little sad. Not because I didn’t want a boy, but in my heart, I thought it was a girl. So I had to get over the thought of another girl and come to terms with having another little boy. Who is super fabulous and cute as a button. Now Baby Girl will always be my only little girl, which is pretty perfect in a way :) Congrats, again!!