What Happened

This post has been written many times. But it’s hard for me to rehash it all so it took a while to get done.

I do want to start by saying the apology, explanation, and further treatment at our hospital has been phenomenal. We found out that it was a lack of resident communication that started all of this, and we are grateful for the way the heads of each department have stepped up and made the changes needed to ensure this doesn’t happen again. We have always received excellent medical care from the nurses, some of them have been my beacons of hope from the moment we walked through those doors. We believe mistakes are just that – mistakes. We know there was absolutely no malicious intent behind any of this, and we are confident in both our doctors and the continued care here. We are so thankful for the support and encouragement for us from all of you.

Now onto the story of how we got here to begin with…

(I am so sorry but because this has to do with babies, pregnancy, birth – I will be talking about my vagina and some bodily functions. I’ll try to avoid anyone having to wash their eyes with bleach.)

Friday morning Bella and I were hanging out. I was 18 weeks and 5 days pregnant with the twins. I remember using the restroom only to realize part/all of my mucus plug was out. Concerned but knowing it happened with Bella for weeks, I thought I’d call the Dr later. About 3 minutes after that I had to pee again. I remember thinking how odd that was, but went.

And it was like a balloon burst.

The water came rushing out, and I was so shocked I simply sat there stunned. I couldn’t wrap my head around it, so I stood up wondering if maybe I’d just really had to pee. The water kept going, pouring down my legs. I started to shake and cry, beginning to realize what was happening to me and sobbed, “Oh God, oh God, please no. Please don’t let me lose my babies.”

I stuffed a towel in between my legs and ran to get my phone. Sam told me he was on his way home and to call 911. I did, laying on the floor of the bathroom with my feet up and praying it would somehow all stop.

Once the medics came, I was taken to the nearest hospital (not our current one) while Sam followed with Bella. I was refused admittance into their L&D as I didn’t meet the 20 weeks pregnant standard, and put in an ER room for the next 4 hours hooked to nothing. Eventually they did an ultrasound scan, and the Dr came in.

“It’s not good. Both sacs are broken, a foot in in your cervix. Would you like to stay here or be transferred to your hospital?”

I covered my face and bawled. It quite literally felt like my heart would be broken in two. (We found out later there was no foot in the cervix)

We were transferred to my current hospital where I was admitted to L&D regardless of my weeks. After several ultrasounds and checks, it was determined at this point, because of how far along I was, there wasn’t much to be done that wouldn’t risk or cover infection if it occured.

After being told how high the risks were for the babies, we agreed to induce. I thought I was going to die. I’ve never, ever felt anything like that in my life. We were told the babies would be born alive at first but there would be nothing they could possibly do to save them because of gestational age and weight. All I could think of was how I’d hold them in my hands and watch them pass away.

It was too much. I was updating Facebook and stumbled upon a comment that changed our lives, basically asking if we knew we didn’t have to induce and there were other stories like ours out there. I began to click and look and read – I knew what risks we were facing both to myself and the babies, but what if I didn’t at least try? Sam and I decided we couldn’t choose to play God if we had other options still.

When the Dr came in with the inducement kit, we told her we’d changed our minds. (Keep in mind, this was again, a resident, not an employee of the hospital.) She was visibly upset with our decision and informed me I was taking my own life in my hands. But all I could think of was, “What if…”

For the next 3 days we clung to any shred of hope. Heartbeats, scans, movement, no infection, no high temps, no pain.

And now we’re here. 19 weeks and 3 days. We have talked to our MFM about options in a few weeks which I’m holding out for. I’m not going to get into their or our decisions medically because at this point, we have been told the why’s and how’s of it all based on my situation and we are comfortable with what we are able to have and not have. We have been assured at 23 weeks they will start to throw everything they’ve got at us to get the babies bigger, stronger, and able to survive from there on out.

Right now the main concern for the staff is the risk of infection to me. I had a total rupture so I continue to leak fluid. But the first 24-72 hours are the highest risk and we’ve passed that now. Everyone has been very careful not to examine me vaginally and to keep checking temps/blood pressure.

This morning we got an ultrasound and there are no changes. Which is, of course, good and hard.

Our first goal is 23/24 weeks. After that, heck – make it 34. :) Go big or go home right? 34 is all we can go to if the membranes never heal.

We’re here. We’re hanging in. My days are filled with lots of hope but there are hard times. Hearing my little girl cry on the phone at night for me is rough. But my mom is with her so Sam can come back and forth as he needs to, and she brings her up to see me. We’ve had a lot of people from his Army unit come to see us, his mom and grandpa are here, friends of mine have stopped by.

This is day by day. We know anything can change at any moment, but we also know that whatever happens is in God’s hands, not ours. And that is rough but ever so reassuring as well. We have faith that what ever happens is for a bigger reason than we will ever know. But these boys have already made an impact in our lives we will never, ever forget.

But man. For a control freak like me – this sure has been quite the lot to be handed. :)


Comments

  1. You are a champ. And a fighter. I’m so proud of you!!! xoxoxo

  2. I stumbled upon your blog via Sunday Stilwell on Twitter. I’m so glad I did and I will be praying with you guys!

  3. Diana, I’ve been following your story, and was in turns horrified, relieved and worried for you and your babies.

    I’m so glad you’re finally getting the care you deserve and my fingers and toes are crossed for you for the next few crucial weeks. You are strong, as are your babies.

    Love, light and good vibes your way.

  4. Thank you for taking time to update and share what happened. I continue to pray for you and your boys and your family.

  5. TheNextMartha says:

    Lots of love, strength and continued prayers to your family.

  6. I’ve never met you, I probably never will, but you and your babies will be in my daily prayers. Hang in there!

  7. Deanna says:

    you go Mama!!!! your babies and you deserve it, I will continue to pray for you and your boys.

  8. Praying for your and your twins’ health from Vancouver Canada. Sttay strong, stay postive. Sending good vibrations your way :D

  9. Mary Rose says:

    Praying, praying, praying!

  10. Megan T (mcmeggie07) says:

    Thanks so much for sharing this. Your struggle has put things in perspective for me. I’m 39w2d pregnant and was admitted to be induced, but was discharged because of lack of dilation. It seems like the end of the world, but it’s not because both me and my baby are healthy. I continue to pray for you and your baby boys.

  11. Evidently, God would like you to learn to surrender. And decided to tell you so with a sledge hammer-style approach. In my church, we have a prayer/mantra that has always helped me a lot. It’s short, so I use it in times of crisis.

    “I am Thine, Thou art mine.”

    and one longer one that really helps me is:

    “I will reason; I will will; I will act. But guide Thou my reason, will and activity to the right thing that I should do.”

    That’s my hospital mantra, because I get really panicky in hospitals. Not for any reason close to the reason you have to feel scared, but it helps me surrender.

    Holding you in the light!

  12. Praying for you and hoping for the best for all of you. Going against “the plan” at a hospital can be hell, even if it’s not a situation as serious as yours. I’m glad the hospital is working with you now. You’ve probably seen this, but here you go: http://blogs.babble.com/being-pregnant/2012/03/08/polish-mom-labors-for-75-days/

  13. I have been following your story and I read this update with tears in my eyes. My son, who is now almost 10, might never have been born if I had listened to my doctors. I was told he had died in utero and they needed to get him out. I knew he hadn’t, I knew it viscerally. Hospital staff were pushing me to accept the “truth” and I pushed them for more ultrasounds. I had a tech who looked at me like I was insane before she did the ultrasound. and then she cried. She saw a strong heartbeat of a very alive baby.

    I truly believe that you have to go with your gut. You need to know that you have done all you can and leave the rest up to higher powers, if that’s how you believe.

    Stay strong – we’re all praying for you and the twins.

  14. glad to hear that your treatment has improved so much and that people are actually talking to each other now (communication is KEY eh?) and of course I’m continually sending good thoughts and prayers to you, the boys, Sam & Bella – I’m sorry that you are missing her so much, and that she is missing you so much, that certainly has to be rough for you both :( sending lots of love, Diana. *hugs*

  15. Thinking of you and your babies and praying that you can all hang on! You are amazing!

  16. Heather says:

    I am proud of you… plain and simple. I have posted your blog to my facebook page… found your blog through the ModernMom website (on my facebook feed).

    I am a mom of a 28 weeker. You are your babies biggest blessing. You are remarkable and amazing. And, I couldn’t help but tell you to keep it up!!

    If anyone needs to be the next face of a Pro-Choice ad, it should be you. I am standing behind you in prayer for your precious little ones. God bless you and your little ones. May he keep you and the little ones safe in his hands. Amen

  17. Thinking about you all the time. Your such a fighter and I”m so amazed by your strength. Lots of love, Diana.

  18. You can do this! Heck, you already did. :)

  19. Love you. Have been praying for you like crazy. Miracles do happen. A positive attitude, a prayer, and determination can get you a really long way. xo

  20. We love you, ladybug! J says prayers for you and your family every night… “Please let Diana’s babies grow big and strong like me so I can play with them.”

    Keep fighting, you have a world of support behind you no matter what happens.

  21. Diana,
    I have been praying for you and your boys since this whole thing began! I am 19 weeks 6 days pregnant and can only imagine what you are going thru but know there are so many of us out here praying, praying, praying!

  22. Keep hanging on Momma! You are an amazing human being!

  23. I’m 20 weeks and i find ur blog captivating

  24. Jessica says:

    You are so strong and brave! I am praying for you and those babies, including Bella. God Bless all of you!

  25. I am SO happy to hear that apologies were issued and corrections made! :) Go with your heart and what will be is in God’s hands. Sending lots of prayers and sunshine your way to you and your wonderful family!

  26. Praying for you and that your little guys hang in there!

  27. I know I say this over and over. But I am thinking about you and praying for the 23 mark. It must seem so far away. But really, you can do it! If there is no infection you can do this, Diana!

    I think you are so brave.

  28. You’re on my mind all the time. I’m so proud and amazed by how strong you’ve been in all of this. I’m also so relieved you won’t be fighting the Drs anymore.

    Hoping and praying for an amazing 34 week outcome.

  29. Diana, you are such a strong woman and mother. I admire you so very much I am praying for you, your boys and your family. Your determination, your spirit, and the love you have for those boys is what keeps them going. Hang tough!

  30. Hi Diana. I have followed your story through others, and I just wanted to let you know I’m praying and hoping and wish amazing things for you and your family!

  31. I appreciate you telling the story of what happened. I didn’t even need bleach :) I’m glad things have turned around for you in terms of your care, and we’re all still praying for you, Preston, William, Sam, Bella etc etc etc…It’s hard on all 5 of you. *HUGS* to all of you! Keep those babies baking! You can do this!!!! MIRACLES HAPPEN!

  32. Praying for you and your boys…stay strong, and stay healthy!

  33. i know we’re only twitter buddies, but when i read your first tweet, my heart fell. as a mom to four, i can only imagine what you’re all going through. just follow your hearts and all will be right. big hugs to you and your family. i’ll be thinking of you all. you are awesome.

  34. Thanks so much for sharing the whole story. I know it was and is difficult but know you are touching people all over the world with your strength and faith. Bella and BOGO are blessed to have you as a mother. You are in my thoughts daily!

  35. I don’t know you and I didn’t read your blog until I saw it on Babble and Heir to Blair, but your story touches me and I really am thinking of you guys. I’m SO moved by your willingness to fight for your babies. I emailed the hospital on your behalf a few days ago, as well, hoping that I’d be one of many doing what I could to help you out. Stay strong and know that there are tons of strangers out there thinking of you and your family. God Bless!

  36. Continued thoughts and prayers for you and your family! Your courage and strength are remarkable!

  37. Jennifer R says:

    You are amazing. There are so many rooting and praying for you!

  38. Jenn S says:

    you are SO brave and strong. i have been following your story and am praying and hoping that you can make it as long as possible.

  39. Oh Mama, I am praying for you all continually. God’s will be done, but I pray this is a case where our will and His align. xoxo

  40. Hi Diana,
    Much prayers. Praying for 34 weeks for you! My girls were born at 30 weeks and I know how important each hour and day is!

  41. Rachel huss says:

    You are so strong. I have been following this since a request was made on FB. You are a fighter and as a mom no we could not just let them go…the what ifs are always in our mind. Continued prayers for you and your babies. May God give you nothing you can’t handle

  42. Praying for you mama! Hang in there!

  43. I was in complete and utter shock when I saw the first tweet, and have been thinking and praying about you since. So proud of how strong you are. Keep up the positivity and the patience!!

    Can’t imagine how hard it is to be without Bella, but know that by doing all you can to save her brothers you’re teaching her a very powerful lesson. Though she may not remember being 2 years old, she will always recall the story of how her mother made such a powerful sacrifice for her little brothers.

    You guys are in my thoughts and prayers as always friend ;)

  44. Thinking about you and the family every single day! Thank you so much for keeping us in the loop and for reminding us all that this online community that we’ve created for ourselves is a REAL community that rallies to support its own!

  45. Your story inspires me to tears. You are in our prayers out here in Montana! Hang in there :)

  46. Alicia Dugas says:

    Matthew 19:26 “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

    This verse is so important to me. I had 27 week triplets. It was so scary but I said this verse over and over and posted it in my hospital room.

    Tomorrow we celebrate their first birthdays. With God, all things are TRULY possible. Keep believing in Him and we will keep praying for you!

  47. Thoughts and prayers are with you. I wish nothing more for your sweet babies to grow stronger and God be glorified in your story and your strength.

    Love to you all,
    Christina

  48. Praying dear!

  49. I am praying for you and your sweet babies right now. Much love to you.

  50. I just started reading your blog yesterday and I have been praying for you and your baby boys and your whole family! God is in control and only He knows the plans He has for you and your pregnancy. Trusting in Him is the way! God bless you and hang in there :-)

  51. Let me first say that I have been following your story with earnest and praying for you and your little boys. As a mom of two, both born as high risk babies, I competely feel for you. I am also a doctor and with my second I was told at 29 weeks that I was going to deliver that night, because I was choosing to nurse my older child during pregnancy. I carried him to 38.6 weeks. No medications. (That OB was full of crap and I told him so, as did my regular OB when he returned from vacation. But if I had not spoke up, I would had had an unnesssesary C-section at 29 weeks.) Your monther’s intuition will always be the best for your babies. Keep fighting for them, because miracles do happen, I see them every day in my pediatric oncology patients. I do however feel the need to point out that residents are hospital employees and they are also not allowed to do anything without the approval of an attending physician. Mistakes do happen, but I also feel a little sad when the medical education systems ie. residents take the full blame for these mistakes. A resident cannot act on their own without attending permission, someone gave those orders to that resident, please don’t discount medical education. We all started there. (If the resident acted on their own, then severe actions need to be taken against that doctor and his or her supervisors.) Praying for you and your family and wishing your the very best of all possible outcomes.

  52. wasnt_serious says:

    Wishing you luck and comfort. I am so happy to hear that it was all a horrible mistake and people are owning up to it. You and your boys (and their daddy and big sister) deserve the chance to meet each other.

  53. Myrna Maldonado says:

    Reading this makes me want to cry! You are so brave to share your story with us and to keep fighting for the life of your babies. Please know that I’m praying with you, that God’s will be done in this situation. God has a tremendous plan for you and for your babies. Regardless of what may come from this situation, you are a hero to women everywhere. Thank you for sharing your story and your progress. Sending love and warm thoughts your way!!!

  54. Diana,

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am blown away by the amount of response you’re getting a hope it brings you daily encouragement. I am one of the few people in the world who can actually say that I know exactly what you are going through. When I was 20 weeks pregnant w my son I began bleeding and was told I would certainly miscarry and there was nothing they could do as I was already 4 cm dilated. I demanded options and was told infinite bedrest and an emergency cerclage might give us a chance to get to viability. I laid as still as I could in bed for 8 weeks. I made it 8 weeks when I was originally told to give up hope (doctors actually told me to terminate)! After a long NICU journey we were able to take pur healthy son home. My sweet boy is now 15 months and the perfect little guy. I tell you this so you know that miracles happen! When there is no reason for me to have stayed pregnant, I did! God IS in control and he is the giver of life. I am so inspired by you and am praying daily for you as you muddle through hospital bedrest. I know it’s not easy. I know you long for the simple comforts of a warm shower and to walk across a room to grab your breakfast. The bedrest and hospital discomfort are temporary. Positive thinking an faith go a LONG way! I envisioned holding my baby and taking him home… and I did. So much love from me to you and praying for you continually. Please feel free to email me if you’d like to chat!

    Love,
    Meg Spilman

  55. Before I was a mother this would never have made sense to me I wouldn’t understand your choice. But today I wouldn’t do it any differently than you. I am filled with hope for you and praying for you to be stuck there for awhile ;)

  56. Hang in there, sending many prayers your way! I wish you and your family all the best!

  57. Now I’m bawling!!! But I’m thankful for such a positive ending and I have true faith that you are going through all of this for a reason. Neither of us know what that reason is yet I’m sure but I do have to say that reading this makes me thankful for where I am in my own pregnancy and all the scares that I have had are in perspective.

    I’m thankful for this blessing and thankful that I’ve made it to 34 weeks and no matter what is decided today for my own little one I know that God is there and he will protect both me and this unexpected blessing.

    Yes, seriously – BAWLING!!!!

  58. Lauren says:

    I am praying for you, for your babies, for your daughter, for your husband, your doctors. You and your family will constantly be in our family’s prayers.

  59. I found your blog through Babble… I am continually praying for you, your body & your sweet boys!!!

  60. amazing…. you are simply amazing. Hang in there (that goes for your sweet little twins as well!) You are in MANY people’s thoughts, prayers, and hearts!

    ~Mummie

  61. Sending lots of positive thoughts and love from Dallas! Your story is an inspiration.

  62. Mona Lisa says:

    My family and I are keeping you and yours in our prayers. I would like to suggest if no ones though of it yet, that you try an amniopatch if possible. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21876516
    It has been used with some success to repair the amniotic sac and allow it to refill with fluid. Perhaps you and your doctor have already discussed this, I don’t know. But it’s a fairly new and experimental treatment of spontaneous rupture of membranes, so I thought I would mention it in case it hadn’t been considered yet. God Bless.

  63. Barnmaven says:

    Saying prayers and sending loving thoughts to you and the twins and your family. Thank you for the update!

  64. Wishing and praying for your boys. I had twin boys last year and had to be on total bedrest for one day–let me say that I have a new appreciation for women who have to do this long-term. The things you are willing to do for your boys are admirable and courageous.

    Keep having hope. Statistics aren’t the same as reality. My oldest suffered extensive brain damage at birth and we were told there was a 95% change he’d be cognitively impaired. He’s four and already reading and spelling–a testament to the fact that statistics aren’t guarantees.

  65. Sheryl says:

    I found this link about a mom whose baby was not in the uterus at all. The baby was delivered by c-section age 32 weeks: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/43193437/ns/today-today_health/t/miracle-baby-was-carried-outside-mothers-womb/

  66. Diana, I am exactly one day ahead of you in my pregnancy with a singleton girl. I will count every passing day with you and send prayers and strength your way, to get you and the boys to where you need to be.
    Cindy

  67. There are tears streaming down my face and goosebumps throughout my arms. I am endlessly sorry for what’s happening, endlessly grateful for the amazing support you have and endlessly hopeful for the best.

  68. Lauren says:

    Faith is going to carry those babies to term.
    With 12 week old twins at home, I read your post with tears in my eyes. I started pre-term labor at 28 weeks and was told would deliver within days. I made it to 34 weeks and the babies were healthy enough to come home within 7 days.
    This will happen for you.

  69. Praying your sweet baby boys make it through.

  70. I’m still praying and sending you all my love! I know it’s not easy but just take each day one at a time. Minute by minute if you have to. Love and hugs to all of you!

  71. Diana,
    You’ve been on my mind every day. Lots of prayers for you, Sam, Bella, and BOGO! You’re an amazing woman and so strong. We’re all here behind you praying and praising with you.

  72. I’m so happy you have all of this support! I think that you are the type that would do what you think is right without support, but that’s beside the point. It just makes you that much more admirable. Hang in there Diana. Lots of love.

  73. Kristine says:

    I learned your story through FB. My prayers are with you and your family, and I am pulling for you all!! Bless your heart.

  74. Ashley says:

    What an amazing and inspirational story the Lord is playing out through you. I know I don’t know you but since hearing your story I’ve een praying for you daily. You’re asking for 34 weeks? That’s what I’ll pray for then

  75. Jennifer says:

    As a fellow Army wife and sister in Christ, it is my privilege to lift you and your precious babies to the Father. I am amazed at your courage & strength. Keep looking to Him.

  76. 23 weeks
    23 weeks
    23 weeks
    23 weeks
    23 weeks
    23 weeks
    23 weeks
    23 weeks
    23 weeks
    23 weeks
    23 weeks
    23 weeks

    You can do it!! I’ll be cheering for you from Nashville! 23WEEKS!!

  77. Christine says:

    My prayers are with you! My situation is different from yours, as I was only pregnant with a single baby, but I hope it gives you hope that my miracle is alive and healthy. I ruptured at 22 weeks and delivered at 31 weeks.

  78. Praying for you all. Thanks for sharing this journey you are on.

  79. Continued love, strength and support coming your way. xo

  80. Life As Wife says:

    Keep your feet (and hopes!) up Mama!!!

  81. I think it’s wonderful that you and your husband were able to turn to God together and make this decision. Best wishes to you and your sweet family. Praying that you’ll continue to receive comfort and that your little ones will thrive. I also want to comment you for being so classy about the mistakes made and moving forward with your doctors without focusing on the negative.

  82. Remembering talking with you at the conference and your open, friendly and pragmatic approach, with a little bit of pluck here and there. Sending you love and keeping you all in my thoughts!

  83. Words can never express how strong and amazing you are. You are such a fighter, and I just know that your determination is passing on to your boys as well. I am praying for you, and thinking about you, Sam (who I’m sure had no idea who I was when I called!!), Bella, Preston and Julian several times a day. Love you friend!!

  84. My husband just reminded me that when my MIL was pregnant with him, her water broke when she was only 5 mos and she was on bed rest for three more months holding onto him. We’re praying with you and for you.

  85. Holly Wilson says:

    I found your facebook page yesterday and wanted to tell you that I cannot count the number of times I have prayed for you, your babies, your family, your medical team, and even the resident (what could have happened to make someone so uncaring?) since that time. I pray that God will use this to grow your faith, I pray God will use you and your family as witnesses of His love and mercy, and I pray that God’s will be done, but I hope that is to see 2 healthy babies delivered.

  86. YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS!!! I am pulling for you guys – may those strong little boys make it safely into your arms.

    Blessings, blessings, blessings!

  87. Shannon says:

    Hang in there Diana! I went into preterm labor with my daughter, although not quite as early as you, at 24 weeks. They were able to stop the labor initially and I was on strict hospital bedrest and she was born at 26w 2d. We will be celebrating her 3rd birthday in a few weeks. Miracles can happen. You and your family are in my prayers daily!! XO

  88. Praying for you. I couldnt even imagaine what you are going thru. May you feel the Lord wrapping his arms around you right now and feel his love showering down on you.

  89. Praying fervently for you & yours! We have a perfect Maker who holds all things in His hands and directs all things to His glory!! Praying that He will be glorified and you will be uplifted and healed!

    No matter the length of their lifespan, those boys are part of His plan and He revels in calling them His children as well! Take comfort in knowing that He loves those babies even more than you do and will care for them perfectly!!!

    xoxo

  90. Offering love and prayers from one mom to another…. <3

  91. Haven’t stopped praying for y’all! Cheering you on from here & looking forward to throwing out a big cheers when you’re 23 weeks & beyond! So much love & support is being sent your way. Hope that helps get you through the tough times. I’m always here if you need to vent, or need a hug from afar!

  92. I found your blog via multiple twitter posts requesting prayers on your behalf. What an inspiration you are. Know that you, your sweet baby boys, your daughter, and your husband are all in my prayers. Keep on keeping on!

  93. Lindsey says:

    I will keep you in my thoughts! Stay strong and fight the good fight!

  94. I assume you’ve seen the PPROM Support Group on Baby Center, but just in case you haven’t http://community.babycenter.com/groups/a6718373/pprom_support_group

    It just amazes me that people are still told there is no other option but to induce. Best wishes to you!

  95. Kristen liberty says:

    Omg. How dare you comfort me in my whining :) You are amazing. You can add Oregon to your list of prayer sites. You are on my radar now. You and the boys are going to coming through this swimmingly and your family will be together. Sending you love…
    Kristen

  96. I got here through @cokeslushiemama. I don’t know what I would have done in your situation. You are a strong, strong lady. I’m hoping for you and your babies with all of my heart.

    Hugs and love from Connecticut.

  97. I remember when you decided not to induce, you said even if the babies come anyway, I’ll be able to tell them I did everything I could to save them. You are protecting your babies, and you and Sam are also protecting your own hearts, because God forbid you have to live with a “what if?”

    You just keep on keeping on, and know that there are so very many of us out here, continuing to pray for all five of you, sending you love and hope and strength in every way we can think to send those things.

    I think I’m gonna give you a bad ass award, which I usually give for brave writing, but this time I’m giving it because I KNOW how hard it is to stand up to medical people who are pressuring you hard, and I know that it’s even harder when you’re overwhelmed by fear and grief, and harder still when you’re in shock. You did what was right for you in a profoundly difficult situation, and that’s the very definition of bad ass!

    http://www.nopointsforstyle.com/nps-bad-ass-blogger-award

  98. Praying for you and your babies!

  99. I’m so thankful that you are at peace with every decision you’ve made thus far — and praying steadily that these boys will continue to grow. It’s very apparent, especially reading your comments here and on twitter, the lives that these little boys have already touched.

  100. You rock lady! Hang in there, stay strong and keep growing those babies!

  101. Diana, I am so glad you are doing well and that someone told you that you had a choice. Clearly these boys are here for a reason and I wish all of you the best. You are in my prayers daily. You never know how strong you are until you have to be and you are a very strong lady.

  102. Due to our own high-risk pregnancy experience (we had quads) we’ve walked this road with several couples who have become close friends. Hope is alive. Every hour those babies are inside of you is something to celebrate! You’re perspective is right on – just keep preachin’ it to yourself. Cheering you on each day!

  103. Melissa says:

    I have shared this on Facebook, asking everyone I know to add their prayers to my own. All you need is faith the size of a mustard seed, and lady, you have far more than that!!! Not to mention an amazing God by your side. God bless you, your family and those twin boys of yours!

  104. Just found your blog today through BethAnne and wanted to add my voice to those rooting for you. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, but your strength and the words you have written are so very inspirational. I’m glad you were able to make a well informed decision not to induce. I wish more women were aware that based on each situation, there may be other options, that they should question and find out if there are other options (and yup, I’m talking about myself).

    The whole ‘can’t admit before 20 weeks’ crap just…it’s just unbelievable when the situation is as in need of emergency care as yours clearly was. But you are in good hands now and I am with everyone else here hoping and praying the boys continue to thrive.

  105. I’m so sorry you’re going through this! Be strong and keep pushing on! I just wanted to tell you how great it is that you are sharing this! You’re making it known to a large audience that you DO have options when you water breaks! You’re also educating people that you sometimes need to demad to see an attending after a resident behaves that way! Just some tips from my HBR days. 1. Order what you want for meals! They have a menu somewhere and you can have a choice in what you eat! Ask for two grilled cheese if you want to! With a doctors orders the cafeteria will bring you whatever! 2. Get comfortable sheets. I. Was in a much better mood when I had my own. 3. You can keep the cleaning lady out of there. I hated when she’d wake me up, ask for her to only come when you want her to. 4. Remember you are in charge and can refuse any exams, monitoring, tests etc. you can also request nurses! I on several occasions made them stay out of my room till 10am so I could sleep in! 5. If the offer Ambien… Take it! I refused for weeks, but I sure regretted it later :) hope you have an “uneventful” day!

  106. I’m praying with you and your family Diana.

  107. Just started reading your story and my prayers are with you and your family. I’m a mama to twin boys too; they are an amazing joy (and a whole lot of work!) and I am praying you have many long years with your little fellas.

  108. I’m so sorry you are going through this! I know how you feel.. almost one year ago, I completely ruptured when I was just 23 weeks 1 day. My doctor was pretty frank with me… saying maybe I should terminate… as babies without fluid don’t develop healthy lungs… that she will probably have other issues as well. I didn’t listen to him. I had to give her a chance, no matter what. I kept her in for 7 more weeks… on complete bed rest in the hospital. I went into labor at 30 weeks 3 days and my precious girl was delivered via c-section. She was little… just 3 lbs. 11 oz, but healthy! She was in the NICU for 9 weeks but came home a week before her due date and is now a healthy 10 month old!! She didn’t need to come home on oxygen, there are no developmental delays.. she is perfect! Miracles do happen! I am praying hard for you… keep the faith! I believe! Hugs to you!

  109. so much love still coming your way. your faith is an inspiration.

  110. I just wanted to add another story of hope. My waters completely ruptured at 14 weeks, no small leak a complete gushing break. I talked with 3 maternal fetal medicine specialists who all advised me to terminate telling me there was no hope and that if my baby was born he or she would have terrible physical deformities and probably only be able to grasp for a few breaths. It was an ugly and heartbreaking picture. I refused and asked them not to bring it up again. They respected my decision and were very supportive. I was on bed rest from that day forward. I made it to 31 weeks 2 days and my daughter was born. She had to be put on a ventilator but only for 6 days. She was on supplemental oxygen for 6 months. That is the ONLY problem she had. She had no deformities she was just perfect. She is now sixteen months old and a happy and healthy toddler. I participated on pPROM (preterm premature rupture of the membranes) support group on Facebook. I still participate and count some of those women as true friends and even got to meet one of them in person. There are many many miracles. All stories don’t end as well as mine I know that but it is not the death sentence that doctors make it out to be. Getting through the first week is the biggest hurdle you are almost there!! I am so glad that you found out that termination or inducement was not the only option. God bless you and your babies!

    Brandi

  111. I’ve been thinking about you and your family non-stop since Friday. I admire your strength and courage and can’t wait to read Preston and Julian’s birth story MANY months down the road! ; )

  112. still praying for you and your boys (and your family) <3

  113. Praying for you and your little boys! I stumbled across this from facebook and it brings back so many memories for me. I, too, was in the hospital with my twin girls and was told that I needed to just “empty my uterus” at 20 weeks. I’m so glad you decided not to induce and let God do His work in this. I am praying for peace and joy for you no matter what the outcome is but I sure do hope you get to bring those boys home!! Ps. 34:4

  114. You are an amazingly strong woman. Your children are very lucky to have you. You, your babies, and your entire family are in my prayers.

  115. You are a warrior and I will forever look up to you. So happy you shared the story so the next mom in the hospital in this situation can find refuge in her iPhone.

    Keep fighting mama!

  116. I hope the next 15 weeks are uneventful and that you cook those babies as long as you can! You are all still in my prayers. Every time I see your name on Twitter or FB I say a little prayer.

  117. Your resolve is inspiring. Prayers continue for your sweet family.

  118. gassmama says:

    You are a champ! Keep fighting and those babies will keep fighting! Praying for all 5 of you daily!

  119. Oh sweetheart, never in my life could I even imagine what you are going through. But let this be known, you are a brave, inspiring momma and for the first time since beginning blogging, I can begin to appreciate what this community is all about. I only hope and pray for your family, know that across the ocean another momma is thinking of you and your babies, all three. I’ve felt honored to follow your story.

  120. Tiffany @MomNom says:

    You’re doing it mama…you’re amazing. Hang in there, the prayers keep rolling in. Those boys are loved.

  121. I am praying for you, and the babies, and your family.

  122. Praying for you and your babies! You are so strong!

  123. I found you through BethAnne- just wanted to say I’m praying for you with all I’ve got! I’m a new mom myself, and knowing this new mama bear love, I stand behind you 110% in this journey! Praying so hard for your boys and all of you!! May God just hold them in your womb and strengthen you all! He is mighty to save!

  124. Kira Allen says:

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. My daughter was born at 25 weeks and I know how scary it can be, but mommies are the toughest people I know. Those boys are lucky to have you as a mommy, stay strong.

  125. I have no words of wisdom (though I really wish I did) but please know your strength and courage is an inspiration.

    Thinking of all of you.

  126. I know someone that this also happened to, her’s happened at 23 weeks. She made it to 33 weeks with him and then he spent 26 days in the NICU growing some more :) It IS possible and I am so glad you are fighting for your boys. <3

  127. Diana,

    I came across your blog when your posts started going viral last week.

    I just wanted to let you know that I was in a similar situation as you back in 2008. I wasn’t pregnant with twins, but I was pregnant with my first baby and went the bathroom to discover my mucus plug in the toilet. I called my OB’s office in a panic and the nurse told me that it was completely normal and it would regenerate.

    I went to the hospital to find I had an incompetent cervix and it had shortened to 1.8cm. Since I was too far along for a rescue cerclage, I camped out in the hospital until 24 weeks when I received the steroid shots. My son was born at 24w5d at 1 lb 7 oz and lived.

    He is a healthy and thriving 4 year old now and although he does have some developmental delays (mainly speech) he is on track to start Kindergarten next Fall with his peers! You can contact me through my blog if you have any preemie related questions or read all of my NICU updates about Jacob from 2008.

    Hang on! You have so many people praying for you and your boys.

  128. LeCricia says:

    I came across you story a couple days ago via Facebook. My heart goes out to you and yours. I have twin boys who were born 3lbs 10oz. They had some struggles as you can imagine. Today is their 10th birthday! I can only imagine about half of what you are going through, and I know its hard and bed rest is miserable, but in the end its all worth it. It sounds like your babies are doing really good and they are fighters. Your story will help so many others if/when they may find themselves in a similar position. Hang in there, you are an inspiration to us all!!

  129. Constant prayers and love for you, those babies, Sam, and Bella. Hang in there mama!

  130. “For a control freak like me – this sure has been quite the lot to be handed.”

    I’m laughing and crying at the same time – I’m so happy things are going well for you (as well as they can). I can sooo relate. As a (former) control freak (non-religious); I have truly learned to ‘accept the things I cannot change’, to fight like heck to change the things I can, and am working on the wisdom to know the difference.

    As a ‘non-religious’ (former) control freak there is a very good reason my daughter’s middle name is Grace. (and yes, I am aware of my own contradictions, and accept them:)

  131. Praying for you and admire your bravery. Remember that every day you have with them is a day that you GAVE them life. You are nourishing and growing them for however long God has for you (I hope a good long while!) and extending to them the incredible gift that God has freely given us. Someday, here or in eternity, they will be so very very thankful!

  132. I just learned your story via BabyRabies, hang in there! I will keep you and your whole family in my thoughts and prayers.

  133. Chrissy says:

    I have faith in the power of motherhood. I admire you for your bravery and for the fact that you and your husband are truly fighting for your babies. Doctors do not always know best, especially in the case of bringing babies into the world. I am thinking of you and your family.

  134. Sending you love and wishing you health, peace and continued strength during this time. Xoxo

  135. Praying in Ireland

  136. You and your baby boys have definitely been in my thoughts and prayers these last several days. Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m so encouraged by the fact that you stood your ground and are fighting for those sweet boys! Continued prayers for you all, Diana!

  137. Absolutely awesome! So proud of you. Everyday is worth it. Someday this will all be a distant memory. My twins are almost four now. And I hardly remember all the blood sweat and preterm contractions that was my pregnancy with them!

  138. You are so strong! Love and prayers are being sent your way!!

  139. charlotte says:

    YOU REALLY ARE A STRONG PERSON AND SO ARE YOUR BABIES! I WISH YOU ALL THE LUCK IN THE WORLD! GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!

  140. Happy Grammy says:

    Praying for your wonderful family.

    Glad you and your husband stood your ground and “having done all, to stand. Stand…” From Ephesians Chapter 6 NKJ

    I’m reminded of my “miracle” baby who is 15 now. He is a miracle because, like you, we didn’t listen to my doctor’s advice. After my eighth child was born, my doctor told me I needed a hysterectomy. I asked if I had cancer, and he said I had a tired, old womb, because my L&D had been so weird. For the entire labor, however long it took for 3 contractions, I had the same amount of time with absolutely nothing. I was 43 at the time.

    He knew we would say no, and he even told the resident he wasn’t going to suggest it but he did.

    He never mentioned hysterectomy to me again, but he had to be thinking about it because he was our doctor when “miracle” baby number 9 was born.

    Blessings,
    Harriet

  141. This is such an amazing story. You are handling it so well. Good luck to you as you continue this journey!!

  142. I’ve had you in my thoughts since last week! I’ve been sending you all the positive energy and thoughts that I can. God has you on this path and is in control. The main strength I had while my daughter was in the hospital was “Let Go and Let God.” Take each hour and day as a victory. Try not to think ahead too much nor read too many scary outcomes on the internet. You will get thru this.

    Mom to a 2.6 pound 27 weeker who is now a very healthy 9 year old,
    Marcia

  143. Continuing to pray for you, your boys, your daughter, and your hubby! I just want you to know that your story thus far is such a wonderful reminder to me that God is in control and that miracles can and do happen in our lives.

  144. Diana, I have been praying for you since I first heard the news. I am so inspired by your faith and your courage to fight for your babies! I’m so glad there is better communication now with the hospital, and I pray that everyone will continue to support you in the days ahead.

  145. praying hard for you..for a miracle! take it one day at a time, mama!

  146. Stay strong Diana! You guys are all in my prayers. 23 weeks!!!

  147. I had never heard of your blog before Heir to Blair posted your story. I just want you to know that we are sending lots of prayers from California.

  148. I am SO glad you are being treated well now. I’ve noticed some lapse in communication skills during some of my own hospital stays and it really can make or break your experience.

    Will continue praying for you, your munchkins, and all of the people caring for your family!

  149. Keep up the good work…. you are doing everything right… don’t stress about the wee one at home soon enough you will all be reunited and she will have some new babies to play with….. as long as nothing is going up your va jay jay will keep the infection out…. and make sure they keep the fluids coming it replaces what you lost…. you go get em girl…. soon enough those little ones will be where they belong in mama’s and papa’s arms…. good luck with the bed rest ;0)

  150. celeste says:

    I can’t even. You are amazing. I’m praying for you and your boys and your daughter and your husband and your doctors. Good Luck, Mama.

  151. You’re an inspiration! Prayers to you and your sweet babies. Thank you for writing about this — you’ve already helped other moms more than you know. Stay strong.

  152. Doula Viviana says:

    keep up the great work you are doing an amazing job growing those little ones…. no one will ever know what reasons led you to where you are today but there is a good one. I love hearing your story progress and look forward to hearing all about the birth of your boys…

    as for your little one at home, you are teaching her a big lesson though she doesn’t see it now…. your teaching her that a woman fights for what she believes in… even if sometimes it hurts or scares her…. you are teaching her what it means to be a mom….and you are teaching her that families sometimes make hard decisions but it always in the end is for the better of the family…..she will soon have her two little brothers home with her and then she can spend time telling you to take em back when they are all older and fighting over one toy or another.

    Congrats on the great progress… not long now and you will be 34 weeks ;0) hee hee I am going for the big or go home date!

  153. Heidi K. says:

    I am so glad that someone posted that comment on FB. God bless that person! My husband and I have been praying and will continue to pray for you and your family.

  154. You have been in my thoughts, since I stumbled across your story. Sending you and your babies lots of good thoughts:)

  155. Thank you for taking the time to update us all. We are all rooting for you guys. You and your family are stronger than ever now and it really gives me hope and strengthens my faith. I am praying every day, for all of you. xoxo

  156. Diana you are truly inspiring!!! May theses next few weeks go by quickly and my who ever is the big honcho out there wrap your family in her arms and keep you safe and healthy!

  157. You are incredible and so inspiring. I continue to pray for all 5 of you as you take this day by day with your eye on the two precious little prizes. Your faith is so encouraging and I know that God can get you all through this. I hope and pray that in these next weeks that you only hear words of encouragement from those around you. I will pray that the time passes quickly and there are lots of good movies to watch in the hospital room. (I saw the picture on Twitter and it does look like a nice room!) :)

  158. My thoughts and prayers are with you!! My son was a 34 weeker due to full PROM at 31.2weeks. Hospital Bed rest stinks but you will make it through I have faith in it. If you have questions feel free to drop me a line!!

  159. Heard about you via Sunday Stilwell. We’re praying for you, sweetie, and your two darling babies.

  160. This happened to me at 22w 5d and I stayed pregnant for 5 more weeks. I had zero reaccumulation of fluid for those entire 5 weeks. My daughter is 6 today and totally awesome. PLEASE feel free to contact me for support or an understanding ear.

    You have my email address and if you need to talk, I am always here.

    Take care of yourself and your babies. xoxo

  161. Tara C says:

    HUgs your way from another pregnant mama in BC Canada :)
    I’ve been following your story (from a FB link) and am so inspired by your strength. I continue to pray for you and your family.

  162. Hey Sweetie just saw a friend post a request for good thoughts to come your way. Well darling you got em. As someone who went into labor at 19wk and 1 day, then managed 56 days in the hospital and ended up with a kid that’s is now 11 and beat all the odds. YOU HANG IN THERE. Feet in the air ( trendelenburg) is the best bet, followed by a tributaline pump in your leg, steroid shots every 24 hrs, and 1 or more mag washes a day. We ( me and my youngest) set a new time on how long you could go back in 2001. It was full of suck days, seriously suck days and then epic suck days, however, every 24 hours they stay in increases their odds. My doctors used to joke I did the World Genis Keagel. 58 days, contractions 9 minutes apart, and 4cm dilated they “could” see the babies head during exams . It’s an emotional roller coaster but you have the entire internet behind you. anytime you need, hit me on facebook or email. have your mom help your daughter by making one of those old fashioned paper chains, ( they made mine to 34 weeks) and every day the kids got to rip a paper link off the chain and bring it to the me at the hospital. They knew to plan for the longest, and it helped them. Big hugs.

  163. Mom of 8 says:

    You sound to me like you are on the RIGHT PATH. I have two sets of twins and have been through many times of touch and go. It is true that getting pregnant is an act of faith all by itself:) Our family will pray for you and your babies!! As you are a mother already, you know that you are best equipped to make decisions for your children, no matter what the M.D. (or any other initials behind the name) might say. Professionals do NOT have all the answers and miracles happen every day. Hang in there!!

  164. Sending prayers and hugs and lots of good thoughts your way! GROW, BABIES, GROW!!!!

  165. Diana,

    From one twin mom to another, wishing you the absolute best.

    xoxo, Joslyn

  166. I heard of your story through friends of mine who know you and my heart goes out to you. You have been in my constant prayers. You are a strong and amazing woman. I hope you are feeling the prayers coming! Big hugs, from one momma to another.

  167. praying for you!

  168. Krista says:

    I heard about your hardship on a message board on thebump and have been thinking of you everyday. You are a truly inspiring woman. Much love and God’s blessings to you and your family. Thank you for sharing your story – I will be praying for you.

    -Krista
    Royal Oak, MI

  169. I just want to say you made me think.. and think and think! First, I am due mid to the end of september sometime, they say sept 25th but i think those dates are approx. and i usually go 2 weeks early. so, we are pretty much exactly the same in weeks pregnant and i never thought what i would do in a situation like yours! so, due to your suffering and the world talking about it,( i came across you on fb through multiple sites i check out re-posting your story) I realized that i love my baby already, i mean, this has made her more real. I do not feel her much and we saw her on the ultrasound but, for me, i love her but did not feel super attached yet.. and then i realized if i were in your shoes i would do the same thing and then i realized how much i do love and want my baby… i am probably ranting. sorry! i just want you to know i have been thinking non stop about you and me and our babies non stop and so, thanks for being brave strong and open!

  170. Kim Byers says:

    Diana,

    Wow. A friend of mine posted a link to your blog on my facebook page. Your story parallels mine, only it happened to me 2 years ago while pregnant with my son.

    I teared up reading your post, as you are going through many of the same emotions, questions, thoughts and fears that I did. Keep the faith. Although my water broke at 25 weeks, I was able to hold on for 4 1/2 weeks until my son was born all while hanging out in a hospital room.

    If you want to talk, please feel free to email me.

    Sending prayers your way….

    Kim Byers
    Highlands Ranch, CO

  171. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Found your blog through Facebook. You are a beautiful writer and your story is inspiring.

    Love and light,
    Laura

  172. I’m continuing to pray for ya’ll Diana!

  173. Katrina Papa says:

    From one twin mama to another, my prayers are with you…

  174. It’s kind of unbelievable to me how hospitals operate, and how modern obstetrics is based on TELLING people what to do, rather than consulting with them. This is an amazing story and reminds me why I love social media and blogging. I’ve been praying for you since I heard the news back when you were planning to induce (via Katie @ Sluiter Nation). I will continue to pray for you and your babies whenever I think of it! xoxo

  175. Allison says:

    Hang in there! You are so strong and brave. And so are Sam and Bella and your boys. Here’s to another four weeks and then another 10 – you can do it! Just take it one day at a time and know that you have an army of supporters out there rooting for you.

  176. We’re praying for you.

  177. I’ve been following you on Twitter for a while now and have been thinking of y’all since I heard the news. You keep fighting lady. We are all praying for you.

  178. I follow you on twitter and I just have to say I’ve said prayers, will continue to do so. You can do this.

  179. Lillian (Cardinal) Simpson says:

    You sweet girl, you are so brave. I had a gawd-awful pregnancy with my son Chase (now almost 3) – I had complications from the start…bleeding, etc. mostly. Turns out I had placenta previa, diagnosed at about 18 weeks. I was told I’d probably have some minor bleeding throughout my term and they’d do a c-section since the placenta was blocking my cervix. Well, at 26 weeks I woke up with massive bleeding, and like you no doubt know, the feeling of panic that I’d lose my baby was overwhelming. I was admitted into the hospital, went through about 24 or so hours of the “will they or won’t they induce” game, we were stable enough to not have to induce. After one week taking up residency in that expensive hospital bed, they thought I may be able to go home…but oh no, there was a serious problem with Chase’s umbilical cord – it was short and had grown through my placenta. Very rare… So I was in the hospital for the long haul. I had never felt so hopeless – my husband was in BV during the week and I was in Colorado Springs. They gave me steroid shots, and did what they could to get Chase growin’ before he decided to show his face to this world. After over 7 weeks in the hospital, they set a c-section date for August 13th, but then on my birthday (Aug 2) of all days, I woke up with more massive bleeding and they set to induce…well, we stabilized again but still spent 2 days in the birthing center in case Chase showed any signs of distress. They sent me to my room the evening of August 5th, and my husband went home to BV. The morning of August 6th, I woke up with bleeding and the doctors finally said that’s enough, and we really had to induce. I was 34.5 weeks. Tests showed that Chase’s lungs were under developed, but we moved forward. A few hours later I had a 4 lb 10 oz little boy, and my placenta was being shipped off to study because they had never seen such as thing…hmm. Anyway, Chase spent the next few days on a CPAP to help him breathe, then 3 weeks in the NICU before he came home to BV. We then had to keep him on oxygen for the next 5 months. It was hell. I look at him now and wonder if it was all a dream – he never quits moving and has more energy than I could ever have imagined. He is a super-toddler. As much as I want another child, I am not brave or strong enough to take the risk. I have to give you credit for what you are doing…I envy your bravery in taking on your challenge. There are so many stories like yours and mine that have truly happy endings. I hope yours turns out spectacular. Take care of yourself and your babies. Much love…Lillian

  180. I’ve been following your story, too, and checking in at least once or twice a day…lots and lots of thoughts with you and your babies!

  181. Pandora721 says:

    May God hold you and your children in his arms. You are Very strong to be doing this and I pray for your continued strength. I don’t know you, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care. I pray that you make it to 34 weeks so you can go big and THEN go home w/ those twins!!

    God Bless!

  182. You are so amazing! And, LOL control freak……:) :)

  183. Diana, my water broke at 19 weeks with my first pregnancy. I kept her in until 28w6d. I would do a lot of things differently. Hang in there, and if you want to talk to someone who knows about this stuff, please feel free to email me.

    I am thinking about you constantly.

  184. Michelle says:

    Diana, I just discovered you through The Heir to Blair. I just wanted to let you know that I am on my knees praying hard for you and your babies. A friend of mine had a similar thing happen to her, and she managed to keep her boys in hanging upside down in the hospital for a month (they lost the girl that was the triplet first). Every impossible step of the way, even after they were born, even several years old, the doctors said “they will never…” but they did. And they are happy, healthy, grade schoolers now. Praying for a miracle for you!

  185. A lady in my moms group’s water broke at 19 weeks and she held out in the hospital until 26 weeks when her little girl just didnt want to wait anymore. But because of the steroids and everything else, outside of a couple months in the NICU, her little girl is going on 4 years old now, and is 100% fine! Its possible for things to work out. Reading through these posts will help you know that you made the best decision. :)

  186. Stay strong in your decision to fight for your babies. I was 18 weeks and 2 days when my water broke with my daughter. I experienced the same treatment and was questioned and pressured to induce. Thankfully my leak sealed and my daughter was born at 31 weeks. She will be 7 next month. I pray you have the same outcome, but even if you don’t, you know you did all you could. Doctors give you facts on what medicine can do, they never consider what God can do! Hang in there!

  187. Keeping you, the babies, your entire family in my thoughts right now. If you ever need anything, please don’t hesitate in letting me know.

  188. Angela Welliver says:

    Glad to hear things are so much better! I will keep praying for you and your precious family. I know it’s hard for you missing your daughter, but she will understand someday and admire what you are doing. Maybe a picture Mommy colored for her would cheer her up? Well, watch a good movie or TV show for me and get some rest! I’m loving the updates on your precious boys! Smile, relax and enjoy the day : D

  189. Erin S. says:

    Diana,

    I heard about your story from BA at Heir to Blair…what an inspiration you are! My heart aches with yours for all the struggles you and your family are facing right now. I am sending prayers your way, and wishing you many more weeks of pregnancy. Much love.

  190. All I can say is keep going strong momma!!! I will offer up my sufferings and struggles up for you and the babies! I am praying that they make it to 24 weeks!!! I will be 29 weeks pregnant on Friday and have had a string of complications with my little guy. If you can do this and be strong, then so can I. Praying hard for you today! Many blessings!

    Andrea Kenny

  191. Praying for you and your babies!

  192. I am praying for you and your family. One of my dear friends sat in a hospital bed for 3 months basically dilated to 1 cm and with broken membranes. No one could figure out how her baby was staying put. She went home at 34 weeks and went into labor on her own about 2 weeks later. I have seen these miracles happen and I’m so glad that you were able to make your own choices. There is no limit to what is possible when God is involved. The best to you all!

  193. Alecia says:

    ” I can do all things throught Christ who strengthens me”. You are doing just that! God has his hands on you & those sweet babies. Keep faith, the power of prayer is at work!! You are inspiring. <3

  194. Thinking of you. This will end well and you will have more kids than you know what to do with! I think those babies are meant to come here when they’re good and ready. They definitely have more cooking to do. You can do it!

  195. Praying praying praying…..

  196. Hi Diana,

    The PioneerWoman sent me over from twitter. :)

    Sending you and your babies lots of Hanging In There and Get Big and Strong Mojo and much love to your family, too.

  197. Just found your blog and read your story. Please know that you and your family are in our prayers and will continue to be

  198. Oh Diana- your courage, faith, and selflessness in this situation is nothing short of inspirational. You will always be able to say you did EVERYTHING you could for your little ones, the thing every mother hopes to be able to say someday! And all these stories of other mamas who went through similar harrowing situations with beautiful results are incredible. Stay strong! You can do this!

  199. You are doing amazing! I don’t know you but I am so proud of you. I have 7 month twins and I can’t imagine what you have been through. We will be praying daily for you and the babies!!!!

  200. annemarie says:

    Diana; My prayers for you, your family and your precious babies.

    I have (finally) accepted that fact that God has a plan and a reason for everything. While we might not know what it is or understand it, at some point, either in this life or the next, it will all make sense to us.

    Perhaps, you have changed the life of the resident and some of the other staff and they will become a fantastic doctor and work to save premature babies. Who knows, but there is a reason.

    Have you been following the blog of baby Avery with SMA and her bucket list? So wonderfully written, so much hope and life and then so tragic. But this little infant has probably done more to raise aweness than all the publicity and publications ever printed.

    I’m sure you have named your precious babies. Regardless if they never survive in this world or grow up to be centenarians, their fight to live has been for a reason.

    May God Bless you and your husband and children

  201. Sending big prayers to you and everyone in your sweet family.

    XOXO

    Anna

  202. Stephanie says:

    I am praying for you and those sweet babies!

  203. Melissa says:

    Praying for you, those babies, and your family! You are an inspiration in perseverance, selflessness, and faith!

  204. Rebecca says:

    My nephew was born at 24 weeks. My sister-in-law had spent many weeks in the hospital before that…like you…just trying to keep him in there!! He will be SIX in just a few weeks!! :) A funny, WILD, smart, cute little boy….. It can be done!! Praying for you that God’s presence will be felt ALL OVER….and many lives will be touched through this!!

  205. I am sending you much love and light, Diana and to your babies. I delivered my son at 28 weeks via C-section. He had to stay in the NCUI for two months. He is now a beautiful, happy baby and is 7 months old today. Keep believing and know you and your babies will be fine.

  206. Genderist says:

    Many prayers to you and your family.
    Bless you.

  207. Keeping up with you on Twitter…you are in my prayers.

  208. Praying that infection stays away and that your twins stay in at LEAST until 23 weeks and that you continue to receive the care, love, and comfort that will hold you up during this wait.

  209. I just read your last twitter [5/3]. You are all in my thoughts and prayers this day.

  210. Alicia Thompson says:

    I am overwhelmed by the miracle of the life that is still going strong in your womb! Praise the Lord for your strength and conviction. I am praying fervently and frequently for you and your precious boys! ‘May the Lord bless you and protect you. May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord show you his favor and give you his peace.’ Such a good mama and papa to give your babies a fighting chance at the life God created them for. Much love to you.

  211. Prayers and thoughts headed your way…I just read your twitter update, God will hold your boys in his arms. I have a little one with him too … I still cry about it, 10 years later, but it is a real comfort to know my baby is safe and sound with Jesus. You will be ok. Don’t be afraid to have another. Blessings.

  212. I am so sorry for your loss. We lost our daughter six months ago at 35 weeks. I know what you are feeling and going through right now.

    You will need lots of love and support right now. Again I am so sorry :(

  213. I just saw your post about the birth of the boys. I am literally in tears half way across the world (london) hurting for you, praying for you…. I can’t even imagine your loss…. You are on my heart and in my prayers….sending my love

  214. Alexicographer says:

    I clicked over a few days ago from Cecily Kellogg’s blog and have been hoping for you and your family and sons ever since. I’m so sorry to see the news of Julian and Preston’s too-early arrival and your loss.

  215. Kellie says:

    Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers…Your story has touched my life since the day I found your website…I am also pregnant with twins and loved following your story along with my own…I think of you and those two little boys everyday…

  216. Just Me says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. You will always know you gave them every chance you could. I wish I could hug you, hold you, help you.

  217. My heart aches for you as I lost my baby right around the same time not even 6 months ago (and I also have an older daughter). Your faith speaks volumes and such things cannot be endured without the grace & mercy of Christ! I pray and trust He will be glorified through this, because we know that “all things work together for the good of those who love God.” I pray you find comfort in knowing that your boys are in the perfect care of their Heavenly Father, and that you will be joyfully reunited one day. We named our baby Jeremiah, after Jeremiah 1:5a: “Before I formed you in your mother’s womb, I knew you; before you were born I set you apart.” Yes, God had a purpose in those precious lives–He uses the weak to shame the strong! God be your strength in these times ahead.

  218. I am so so so sorry for your loss :( I am devastated for you :( I checked your website whil eating dinner with my husband and bawled.

    You are such an amazing Mom and Wife and Woman. This is gonna hurt like hell…. until one day it might hurt a little less. But I know you will grieve those little boys forever.

    I’m praying for you sister. Lots and lots of love to you and your family.

    Tonya

  219. Oh God bless your family!!! We are all so sorry for your loss. Your blog post brought tears to my eyes.

  220. I am so,so sorry for your losses…it is heart rending. I keep you all in my prayers.

  221. Carrie M. says:

    Your experience with your boys and having lost them brought tears to my eyes. Everything you wrote is all too familiar to me.
    One year ago I had all too similar of a story. We lost our identical twin boys at 19w6d on April 28th, 2011 due to preterm labor caused by bleeding from a subchorionic hemorrhage.
    It is an absolutely heartbreaking thing to experience, and is for a long time. We long for our boys and the life we would have had with them. For the place they were supposed to fill in our home and family.
    I constantly miss them and all that was going to come with them.
    The first weeks and months are hard and full of tears. You have been in my thoughts constantly today and I am praying for some peace for you among all the pain that I know is there.

  222. You are in my prayers. May God give you peace that passes all understanding, and the joy of the Resurrection.

  223. I am truly so sorry for your loss. May you and your family also feel the arms of our loving Savior during this time. I am a firm believer that when a child passes away from this life, YOU will be able to raise that child in the next life. Your time here on earth may seem like an eternity, but before you know it, you will be spending eternity with your loved ones.

  224. Diana, I am so sorry for your loss. I pray for peace to you and your family.

  225. I am so sorry for your loss. Two years ago I spent over 24 hours in the hospital trying to get just a little further for my 22 week old son. He was born at 22 weeks and 5 days and only lived 30 minutes. Your post about your twins is beautiful.

  226. Michelle Eichhorn says:

    Lifting prayers for you all–God holds your sweet sons in His arms and you will be reunited one day. May God’s strength and grace fill you and carry you forward.

  227. Rovena says:

    I am so sorry about the loss of your family… Through reading your blog, as many here felt so close to the happenings in your life, almost expecting together with you. Therefore let your pain which I know is enormous be divided among all of us. Sharing your tears…

  228. I pray that the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

  229. Heather Guymon says:

    My heart is breaking for you. I have experienced loss, though not in this form, with a twin pregnancy. My third child was a twin and was the sole surviver of the pregnancy. He just turned one in March and I find with time it has become even harder to deal with losing his brother or sister. I long to be able to hold that baby, or at least know if it was a boy or girl. The feeling of sadness washes over me at least a couple times a day when I realize what life could have been, and should have been. My heart goes out to you for your bravery and courage and I am praying ever so fervently that the Lord will bring peace to you and your husband and family. You are not alone in your grief and just as I prayed hard for your beautiful boys to be strong and healthy, now I will pray for your comfort and mourn with you. You don’t know me, nor I you, but as a mother we are one in the same. We want the same for our children and feel the same sadness and loss and grief. The Lord will wrap you in his arms and allow you to feel His love for you and your sweet babies, who He is now watching over and keeping until you can meet them again someday. Love to you all the way from Utah (just moved here from Texas) from one mom to another.

  230. Elizabeth says:

    So sorry to hear of the loss of your precious boys. It’s so hard to understand what God was thinking when He developed this plan, but as a Christian we must believe that He’s got something greater than we ever imagined in store for you & your sweet family.
    I will keep you in my constant prayers, and will have all my prayer warriors band up as well.
    This verse has been an athem for me in times of loss. I hope it’s brings comfort to you as well:

    2 Corinthians 5:6-8 So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord.

    Prayers & love headed your way!

  231. I am so sorry to hear about your boys. Your strength and way with words at a time as this amazes me and will carry you through this dark season of life. I will be praying for your family in the coming weeks and months.

  232. She held her grief behind her eyes like an ocean & when she leaned forward into the day it spilled onto the floor & she wiped at it quickly with her foot & pretended no one had seen. @StoryPeople

    My heart and prayers are with you and your family. May peace be with you.

  233. Michele Albert says:

    I am so deeply sorry for your loss

  234. Anne R. says:

    I am so sorry for your loss……Many prayers of peace to you and your family.

  235. I am so sorry to hear of the death of your boys. I just lost a baby at 15 weeks, 5 days. I had been so impressed to read of your courageous stand to preserve their lives for as long as possible. You should be proud to know that you did everything you could to save them, and I am so happy to read that you treasured especially those two hours you got to be with Preston. May God bless you as you grieve. I believe He grieves with you.

  236. Kia Nolley Smith says:

    I stumbled across your page some how divine or otherwise. Right now I am sure you and your husband are in pain. I understand how you feel and you will never forget this experience but I pray that with the help of God it will get better for your family. My baby boy died in a very similar way at 16 weeks on 11/16/2010 (after trying for 4 years). It was by far the worst day of my life and I never believed that I would recover from losing him. A part of me died with him that day. I prayed and prayed for comfort and I believe that is the only way I survived. Continue to maintain your faith never forget that your baby boys live on through your memories. I will be praying for your family and their strength in this time of sadness.

    – Kia

  237. Debbie N. says:

    I’m so, so sorry. I lost a baby at 12 weeks. We had been through 8 years of infertility treatments and this was the first time I had gotten pregnant. We had seen the heartbeat on ultrasound and I was cautiously happy. Then the bleeding. I mourned that loss for years. Still do, actually. I never got to hold that baby or know if I had a boy or a girl. That child should be turning 11 years old next week. Someday in Heaven you will hold your boys and I will meet my baby. Please know that people you don’t even know are feeling your loss and praying for you.

  238. I am so sorry for your loss. I found your page through Pioneer Woman’s twitter. It will be 5 years ago in December that our twin boy and girl were born at 21 weeks. I know the pain is intense, but it does get better. Look to your faith. Also there are many organizations that can help you. Google MISS foundation and Rowan Tree foundation. They helped me when my husband and I felt all alone especially after the first month. It is hard for people to understand the grieving of what could have been . . The first steps, the first day of school etc.. I am so sorry for the loss of your boys.

  239. I found you through Sunday, I hope you don’t mind. I don’t talk about this on my blog but I’m hoping here it will be ok. We lost our child when I was 39 weeks pregnant from complications that could have been avoided. It has taken me a long time to make peace with that. Like you, we lost our child. I came home empty handed with a body that didn’t understand the loss and a mind that was unwilling to comprehend. I was dead. To the world, my husband, my kids, my life. I was dead to all of it. We went through the emotions burying a baby that had yet to live. I was there….but I did come back. Slowly. Very slowly. The other children will do that—pull you back to life. It will come back to you—when you are ready for it. It’s not easy and the first time you laugh you will cry all over again but it does come back to you. Life has a way of sneaking back in on you. When it happens, be open to it. Until then mourn the loss of your two beautiful babies. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I am so sorry for your loss. Truly I am.

  240. Diana, I literally just found your blog about 30 mins ago from Pioneer Woman and I am so very sorry for the loss of your boys Julian and Preston. One day you will be able to hold them, until then God will take good care of them and you and Sam and Bella will learn a new normal and find comfort in each other. Peace be with you.

  241. I am so sorry. We lost our Sarah Ann 12 years ago. I was 21 weeks along, my story is very similar. It is by far the worst thing I have ever been through. I miss her everyday, but find peace in knowing where she is and that I will be with her again one day. The pain does get so much better, but be patient with yourself, it takes time. Prayers for you and your family. I wish I could put the world on hold for you for a little while. It seems cruel that everyone else goes on with their lives as if everything is fine, while your world is shattered. I promise it will get better. You are loved sweet friend and so are those precious boys. Loved dearly.

Trackbacks

  1. [...] Diana Stone’s Story: What Happened (Hormonal Imbalances Blog) [...]

  2. [...] on for her, please offer your support for her and her unborn twin boys. She wrote a post about the current situation they are going [...]

  3. [...] that it didn’t take much for me to start following her blog daily.  She’s been through hell and back this year and has handled it with such faith and courage that I’m inspired by her all the [...]

  4. [...] = 468; google_ad_height = 60; When I was 18 weeks and 5 days pregnant with my twin boys, my water broke. I was rushed to the nearest hospital and left in the hallway of the ER for 30 minutes while people [...]