I Don’t Think I Ever Told You…
Sam was the one who decided not to induce first.
He laid his head on my stomach as we cried over what the doctors had told us, as they prepared the kit, and he looked up at me and said, “I feel them moving.”
He shook his head and said, “We can’t do this – they’re still alive in there.”
It was then that I went online and started to look at other options, and found the Facebook comment about how we had other choices to wait. Sam and I talked and talked as the tears poured down and the doctors argued and he simply kept saying, “As long as Diana agrees and she’s medically doing ok, we decided we can’t induce.”
Sam was my rock. My champion. If I had told him we had to, he would have listened. But when we heard that they would be born alive and then die, he shook his head and I took his strength through the next few days of complete horror as we faced the opposition from our decision.
Every time a doctor came in and told us we should induce, he stood strong on what we both wanted. He told them we wouldn’t change our minds unless the risk for me was too great. He let me know that if push came to shove he’d override my feelings about the boys to save my life. He was the sanity in the craziness.
When this all happened, I got the attention. The posts and comments and cards were all mostly for me. And it was much appreciated. But I want everyone to know that my husband was the one who stood by me in order to make this happen. He was the one who found the resident and gave him the (pardon my french) ass chewing of his life while I listened, then made him come apologize to me. We got to hold on and fight until you all rallied for us, and then you gave us a break from the stress and fear of being discharged.
Sam is a good man. He is a Godly husband and father. He’s taken an awful lot of crap in his 30 years of life and come out the other side as a person most men would kill to be half of. He is the best thing that ever happened to me, my hero, and a man I truly admire. I had no idea at 19 when we promised for better or for worse what would come in the next 9 years. I couldn’t imagine what we would go through together. But each and every single day I am so blessed to have him by my side in this life.
As we head into our son’s memorial service today, I wanted to let everyone know how big of a part Sam played in all of this – and he never said a word about what he did. He is an amazing man who would do anything for us, and I am fiercely proud to be his wife, friend, and the mother of all three of his children. We will sit in that service, hold each other’s hands, cry for what we wanted so much, and know while that the best is yet to come, our life together is pretty incredible already.
I love you Sam.