No one likes to expose their ugly. Their sadness. The hard times and the pain. It’s so easy (especially with blogs and Facebook) to think over and over “Everyone seems to have it together but me…”
In truth? We are all becoming masters at hiding any kind of vulnerability.
Brené Brown writes in her powerful, thought provoking book Daring Greatly on this. How we are all so caught up in the perfection side of life. How everyone sees admitting anything less is a weakness.
The most interesting part about this book was how Brené explained the judgement that men and women place on themselves. How we can admire someone for being so open, so honest, so candid, and yet hate and hide that in our own life.
There is a pull for mothers to be the “all” in life. And no matter what you choose, it’s wrong. If you work, you’re neglectful. If you stay at home you’re wasting your time. Being good at motherhood means being fantastic at it all – looks, weight, cooking, kids, cleaning, sex, PTA, it’s all there. There is no good enough anymore. There is only the way you arrange your life to present everything as perfect.
Daring Greatly made me think so hard about my life. How after we lost the boys, there was a part of me that desperately wanted to create perfection because my life had been tipped over – and I didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. Looking back, it was both a blessing and a curse to do that to myself. It pushed me to do things I might have never done before, but it also hindered the grief process in many ways.
Each time I blog on here, I get a comment or email from someone saying, “Me too.” Which spurs me to write again, to open up again, to chance the “What a freak show you are” comments because maybe someone, somewhere, gets what I’m trying to say. It’s not easy. I have a tendency to open up and then cover it back up again with just loveliness.
Reading this was a breath of fresh air to my soul that struggles with never being perfect.
This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own.