I haven’t blogged much on our adoption here because frankly – if I did I’d have nothing left to put at Babble. That money is helping to pay for it, so it’s pretty crucial I have things to write on. Plus I love it. During an adoption, there tends to be long periods of nothing, so news I get is saved for a post to write there.

But tonight, I wanted to let my thoughts out on here instead. For those of you who don’t read my Babble posts (sobs), we have a waiting child that we expressed interest in. A little boy, 9 months old. He has medical conditions that put him in the waiting child category. I wrote earlier today about how I spoke with the international adoption pediatrics doctor in Houston this morning. She’d been going over our waiting child’s photos and medical information for the past few days and talked to me for about an hour on it all.

When Sam came home this evening, I relayed as much as I could through my notes and memory. Our agency had written us quickly back with some new information, but nothing that drastically changed what we know.

I wish I could tell you all more. Share his pictures, name, about him. But for now, just know that we are really trying to make the best decision for his future. Will he be better off with us for the rest of his life and why?

I struggle with all the questions I’m sure most of us go through when adopting. All the emotions that hit me as I try to be logical and realize this is forever.

I look at his little face and my heart aches. We pray every single night for him. Sam and I kneel beside Bella’s bed and we pray for his health, his foster family, that we would make a wise decision, and for him to be kept safe.

I struggle with how much this will change our family. I feel like I did when it really sank in we were having twins, only this time it’s a bit different because it’s a choice. It’s not so much his medical needs that concern me, but the unknown and the what if’s and the HUGE decision we have to make for ourselves and him.

I am praying hard. So hard. I prayed tonight that if God thinks we aren’t the right family for him, He will shut doors hard and fast on us. Sam said today as we talked, “Everything has opened up so far, let’s keep going.”

So that’s what we’ll do. We’ll keep moving forward until God stops us.

What a ride this all is.

—————

Here’s what’s been on Babble this past week:

• 7 Great Reasons to Consider Adoption
• A SAHD Gives His Take on Those 9 months
• 14 Reasons You Shouldn’t Adopt
• 5 Things I Used to do While Driving Before Having Kids
• Now We Decide: The Medical Side of Adoption and Why it’s Important

And today on Military Family:

• How Joining the Military Allowed Me to Stay at Home