What a year it’s been.
I don’t wish it to be over. I didn’t hate this year. It was hard. There were horrible times. I don’t feel like the same person anymore.
But I had some amazing things happen.
I had twins. I survived a rough pregnancy and birth. I had thousands of you step in to make sure I was treated fairly in a bad situation in the hospital. I got hired to write for some pretty amazing companies and the love of my online heart She Reads Truth. I went to Blissdom and BlogHer and then was sent on the Disney cruise of a lifetime with Bella, courtesy of Babble and Disney.
I was syndicated on the Huffington Post. We went headfirst into an adoption and learned so very much about that process – and it turned out that not being able to right now was the best decision for us.
I met the most amazing women who have been there every step of this journey with me, and realized there were some people in my life who would stick by me no matter how insane they thought I might be those first few months. I have friends online and off that will have a piece of my heart forever.
Sam and I have grown together so much, our marriage is forever changed in such a wonderful way. Our marriage is what I prayed and hoped so hard it would be one day but had started to doubt it would before we stopped drinking. Our sons only made us stronger and more in love. We celebrated 2 years of sobriety and my daughter’s 3rd birthday. And we’re expecting baby #4 in August.
But most of all, I’ve come to know who I truly am as I woman of God. I still stumble (a lot), I can be a disaster of epic proportions. But I know I am forgiven and loved, and repentance is different to me now. I have fears and worries that also have an undercurrent of faith that runs through them. I know I could get through anything in life with faith that God has my life in His hands. I truly believe that, as much as it might seem I simply worry myself into a coma some days.
I am thankful for this year. I hope that 2013 brings a new baby and some beautiful times and memories – maybe some not so painful but just as valued.
Catch up on Babble: