Pregnant with a 3 year old.

Being pregnant with a 3 year old is totally, completely different than with a 2 year old. When I was newly pregnant and dying from the inside out sick with the twins, having Bella around was rough. She was still so dependent on me for entertainment, interaction. We’d been here in El Paso a little over 6 months and I knew just a few people that were also busy with their little ones, and Sam worked the longest hours. Like – 16 hours a day.

At that time, I was still very much anti TV anything, so the fact that nearly every day she watched a movie so I could sleep or try not to barf on the floor completely stressed me out. And I was so tired that when she didn’t take a nap (or a long enough nap) I’d literally start to cry when she woke up. All I wanted to do was sleep.

She still wanted to be carried and I still wanted to carry her. She wasn’t a ton verbal and got easily frustrated with things that didn’t work.

This time around is so.much.easier.

Hands down.

And not just because I’m not having twins. Most of it is due to her being so much more independent, and me having relaxed on things over the past year. Learning that stressing myself out about the first few months of pregnancy isn’t worth it.

Nearly every afternoon, I take a nap. Guilt (almost) free. We’ve slowed way down on outings the past few weeks, partially because it’s finally gotten cold here. I buy her those little 30 second heat up meals – organic so I don’t feel as bad. That way I don’t have to cook lunch if I’m feeling queasy or smell anything. We bought some more movies for afternoons I can’t get off the couch.

Bella will play outside with Charlie for a good half hour at a time while I clean up or write. She’s also learned the past year to play independently for long stretches. Yes, she’s talking up a storm which means more sass and arguing at times, but it also means I can ask her to help and she understands perfectly. She’s also able to help a lot more than before which makes life a lot easier. I can’t wait to have her help plan a nursery and pick out stuff with me.

We still talk about the two babies a lot. Especially to ease her fears about Mama being pregnant again. It’s insane what she remembers 8 months later. We were watching Rescuers Down Under and out of nowhere during the part where Wilbur (the bird) is getting his back fixed by the mice in little uniforms, she tells me, “Look! They getting two babies out!”

Makes my heart hurt still.

But all in all, this is a very different experience. More peaceful, less frantic and less filled with the guilt of second time motherhood. I know a new baby will be both hard and wonderful for her, but it doesn’t worry me like with the twins. We’ll get it down. I am learning to let go. She is growing up.

We make a great pair together.

Comments

  1. Awww, how sweet! I’m 39 weeks with my first, and I’ve often wondered how women can handle pregnancy exhaustion with a toddler. I just can’t even imagine.

    So glad you have such a good little helper! :)

  2. Bella sounds like a great helper!

  3. This same mommy transformation happened to me after I had Katie. Priorities just change and that’s normal. As long as everybody is loved it’s allllll good! I’m so happy its easier on you this go-round! Bella is such a lucky little girl! :-)

  4. That’s so good to hear!! My oldest turned 4 while I was pregnant and I kept wondering how other moms could do it with a 1 or 2 year old at home. Spacing them out by 3 or 4 years is totally the way to go and that’s exactly what we’re doing with the next little bundle! I’m so happy for you all!

  5. This is good info! I wonder when the right time to have another baby is… and sometimes I think well now wouldn’t be bad (not that my husband would have one anyway) but knowing you feel three is easier in a lot of ways is good to know!!! xoxo look forward to following along through this perfect baby :)

  6. My two are 3y9m apart, and that space is a beautiful thing. It definitely made pregnancy easier than it could have been, and now my daughter is old enough to be quite helpful and interact kindly with her baby brother. Prayers for you and joy to you!

  7. Melissa F. says:

    I totally agree with you. My friends all had their kids much closer together and have suffered for it initially, (they all swear it is the greatest thing ever now that the kids arent babies anymore)…..but my daughter will be three when her brother is born in March. She is so easy to explain things to and we can reason with her. I.e. Mommy has a baby in her belly and you are too heavy to carry…..can I hold your hand instead? Not to mention she is totally potty trained now……which at 2 she wasn’t. Huge difference! Good luck! I will be praying for you to have a smooth healthy pregnancy.

  8. I just had to pop in and say, when I read the title of this, my first thought was “Pregnant with a three year old? You better get an induction right away! You are wayyyy overdue!”.

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