Different

Bella Bella woke up this morning with a fever and telling me, “I need to throw up…”

So right now she’s on the couch next to me, sleeping and buried in the covers, as I write. Her little hands are cupping her own face, I can’t think of anything cuter.

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Bitten

Monday we headed up to New Mexico with our Girl Scout troop to pick apples at an orchard. Sam and I have passed this particular one many times on the way to the corn maze and pumpkin patch, but we never knew we could stop there. We pulled up to a small, ranch style home surrounded by huge trees and green fields – something we don’t see much of in El Paso. It was just gorgeous.

Apple Picking 2

After waiting a few minutes for the rest of the troop to arrive, Bella and I got out and gathered our bags, spraying ourselves down with bug spray.

Spoiler alert: it didn’t work.

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A Week of Ours

Sam is gone for the day, a shift at work. The Sunday’s he has these are hard because there simply isn’t much to do here. Bella and I are thinking of going to the zoo this afternoon to break up part of the day.

These past two weeks have been busy. Soccer started, Bella’s first game was Thursday. I seriously could not handle how cute that was – tiny ones running and sobbing about having the ball taken away from them.

soccer

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On Homeschooling Bella

About a month ago, we enrolled Bella at the CDC (Child Development Center) a little ways down the road from our home. It’s an on post child care and early school program that is highly monitored and adorable to boot.

We’ve loved it. I have her going about 3 times a week for a few hours – either so I can work or be in therapy.

Bella's Classroom

A few weeks ago, one of the teachers approached me about her upcoming class for the school year. It’s a morning preschool/PreK and she thought Bella would be a great fit. She showed me her classroom and the teacher inside of me wanted to pack my bags and move in. It was so perfect, with a schedule for the kids I couldn’t have made any more delightful.

I went home and suddenly doubted my desire to homeschool. After all, it was only 8-11am. We could homeschool in the afternoons. I would have time to work and clean, run errands. Bella would be with friends in a wonderful environment and with a great teacher.

What pulled me the most was the thought of normalcy that would come with it. I could be a room mom. My daughter would be in a school setting. After all the things that we’ve had to work through, this would just look so normal to everyone from the outside. We could seem – ok. That was a very huge draw for my heart.

Yet. 

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First Day

I dropped Bella off at her first day at one of the on post childcare centers. We started out small – just two and a half hours because honestly – I don’t need a lot of care for her. A few hours for work, and several for therapy.

More than anything, I want this to be for her. I truly thought at her age we’d have 2 or 3 more kids running around, and it never crossed my mind that she’d be alone at almost 5. And yet, this is where we are. So I have to adjust my thinking for both of us, and by the look on her face this morning she’s liking it.

Bella First Day

I mean. Really. She’s just my whole heart. (Her dress and shoes are Tea Collection, book bag is by the über talented Mommy Moxie.)

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