On Being Five

Dear Bella,

Today you are five. You have waited so long for this day, when you woke up with me this morning at 4am (Mama has jet lag) I whispered, “Happy Birthday!” and you said, “But the sun’s not out yet!”

You are so full of life and sass. We love you, and you are proving to be quite the challenge to figure out. This year hasn’t been easy on any of us, but you’ve been the one consistent highlight.

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Different

Bella Bella woke up this morning with a fever and telling me, “I need to throw up…”

So right now she’s on the couch next to me, sleeping and buried in the covers, as I write. Her little hands are cupping her own face, I can’t think of anything cuter.

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Bitten

Monday we headed up to New Mexico with our Girl Scout troop to pick apples at an orchard. Sam and I have passed this particular one many times on the way to the corn maze and pumpkin patch, but we never knew we could stop there. We pulled up to a small, ranch style home surrounded by huge trees and green fields – something we don’t see much of in El Paso. It was just gorgeous.

Apple Picking 2

After waiting a few minutes for the rest of the troop to arrive, Bella and I got out and gathered our bags, spraying ourselves down with bug spray.

Spoiler alert: it didn’t work.

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A Week of Ours

Sam is gone for the day, a shift at work. The Sunday’s he has these are hard because there simply isn’t much to do here. Bella and I are thinking of going to the zoo this afternoon to break up part of the day.

These past two weeks have been busy. Soccer started, Bella’s first game was Thursday. I seriously could not handle how cute that was – tiny ones running and sobbing about having the ball taken away from them.

soccer

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On Homeschooling Bella

About a month ago, we enrolled Bella at the CDC (Child Development Center) a little ways down the road from our home. It’s an on post child care and early school program that is highly monitored and adorable to boot.

We’ve loved it. I have her going about 3 times a week for a few hours – either so I can work or be in therapy.

Bella's Classroom

A few weeks ago, one of the teachers approached me about her upcoming class for the school year. It’s a morning preschool/PreK and she thought Bella would be a great fit. She showed me her classroom and the teacher inside of me wanted to pack my bags and move in. It was so perfect, with a schedule for the kids I couldn’t have made any more delightful.

I went home and suddenly doubted my desire to homeschool. After all, it was only 8-11am. We could homeschool in the afternoons. I would have time to work and clean, run errands. Bella would be with friends in a wonderful environment and with a great teacher.

What pulled me the most was the thought of normalcy that would come with it. I could be a room mom. My daughter would be in a school setting. After all the things that we’ve had to work through, this would just look so normal to everyone from the outside. We could seem – ok. That was a very huge draw for my heart.

Yet. 

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