Creativity kits for kids!

On Homeschooling Bella

About a month ago, we enrolled Bella at the CDC (Child Development Center) a little ways down the road from our home. It’s an on post child care and early school program that is highly monitored and adorable to boot.

We’ve loved it. I have her going about 3 times a week for a few hours – either so I can work or be in therapy.

Bella's Classroom

A few weeks ago, one of the teachers approached me about her upcoming class for the school year. It’s a morning preschool/PreK and she thought Bella would be a great fit. She showed me her classroom and the teacher inside of me wanted to pack my bags and move in. It was so perfect, with a schedule for the kids I couldn’t have made any more delightful.

I went home and suddenly doubted my desire to homeschool. After all, it was only 8-11am. We could homeschool in the afternoons. I would have time to work and clean, run errands. Bella would be with friends in a wonderful environment and with a great teacher.

What pulled me the most was the thought of normalcy that would come with it. I could be a room mom. My daughter would be in a school setting. After all the things that we’ve had to work through, this would just look so normal to everyone from the outside. We could seem – ok. That was a very huge draw for my heart.

Yet. 

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The Quirks That Bind

Last night I asked on Facebook what some of your quirks were.

Facebook Quirks

You guys. YOU GUYS. I don’t think I have ever laughed this hard. I was literally crying. I read so many of them to Sam this morning and he was shaking his head as tears rolled down my cheeks.

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Hopes and Dreams

I went to India 11 years ago this summer.

India 2003

When I left, I was newly married and all of just-turned-20. The trip was to work at an orphanage and live with a family there for a month, while teaching the children about Jesus. I ended up stunned by what I experienced – the poverty and conditions and caste system.

I came back to the US shell shocked. It took a long time not to walk into a grocery store and be overwhelmed by choices. To see children playing and not picture the little servant girl who’s mother had shaved her head in thanks to her god. To erase the image of a blind woman holding a nearly dead baby in her arms as she patted and wailed on our car windows while we sat in traffic. The father of the family we stayed with refused to roll down the windows and help her, telling us it was just a ploy for money.

It’s been 11 years and still the tug to return, to do this again, to help in some small way remains.

Noonday to Rwanda

When Noonday announced yesterday they’d be sending one addition person to Rwanda with their team, my heart instantly leaped and ached. I tried to explain why I wanted to go in 350 words, all the while wiping tears as I wondered if this – this might be the thing that pulled me out of my overwhelming “It’s all about me” grief and into a life again that was so, so far beyond me. This might be the start to the answer of my heart’s never ending, “What might come of all this?”

I want to go. I want to be a part of something bigger than me, bigger than the story that at times threatens to suffocate what I know God could use it for. It would be so easy to just fall into self pity and let loss consume me, but I can’t do that because I know that’s not what I went through this for.

Vote to Send Diana to Rwanda with Noonday

I’m asking for your help in the first stage. Vote. Click the link, scroll down to me and my story, then click the blue VOTE button. Every day. Share it if you feel led. So many of you did yesterday – thank you. After May 28th the top 7 move to a panel who chose 3 and then the 1 going.

Rwanda with Noonday

I don’t know if this is what God wants me to do – because many times I’ve thought,  “This is it!” and look – it wasn’t. Maybe this won’t be, but I can’t pass it up. As much as I’d rather VERY MUCH not to do this publicly and have another thing fall through (believe me) I can’t not take this chance. Even if I end up not being picked, I will know in my heart that I followed a very strong tug that is always there for international need.

So here we go – let’s try to send me to Rwanda and break the cycle of poverty and hopelessness there with this amazing team.

Fiercely, Brokenly Proud

A few weeks ago, one of the mama’s I follow on Instagram had a picture of her little boy up, with a caption underneath of how she missed him and “wished heaven had visiting hours”.

It was so simple and so incredibly profound, because it wasn’t sad. It didn’t seem like anything about loss. I had to read it twice, because the first time I didn’t understand he was gone. Her status was so motherly and normal that it shook me. Instead of grieving for us all, I felt this need to write back in that same manner.

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The Christian Conference After-Shock

The Christian Conference After-Shock

Coming home from a Christian conference tends to bring out a really terrible side of me.

After incredible Influence, I felt like I could have flown myself home in the air. I was so pumped for Jesus and what He was doing in the lives of the women I knew. It held these incredible, exhilarating, totally overwhelming moments of nothing I’d ever known before.

So when I came home, I think I figured it was going to be all different. I’d had a spiritual revival and I was going to light the world on fire for my God.

Reality, however, had the same plans as before. I was still a mama, wife, and still grieving the son I’d just lost the month before. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be home or was dissatisfied with my life, but I kept thinking that my passion would change everything. We’d sell it all and move to Ethiopia or I’d go to seminary. Maybe I’d be this amazing, Bible knowing, praying-in-the-corner-with-my-apron-over-my-head kind of woman.

I don’t even own an apron y’all. But I did think about buying one just for that reason.

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