Confessions

The Blogger Bubble

February 1, 2012 by Diana

“I don’t understand,” the mom says, leaning forward. Her eyes are full of confusion and doubt. “Why on earth would you want to homeschool?”

And I? Am stumped.

Not so much as why – but how to explain it to her. I want to tell her to hold while I type out a post or pull up an old one and then have her read it.

As I stumble my way through talking about it, I begin to realize we are on different pages. More so than she and I thought previously. Not bad ones. Not better ones. Just different.

This is one of the first times I’ve started to see how much of a bubble blogging can put you in.

[Read more...]

Filed Under: Blogging, Confessions, Opinions, Playdates · Tagged With: Life Misconceptions, Real life

Kicking Depressions Butt. One Badge at a Time.

January 13, 2012 by Diana 9 Comments

Depression and anxiety are often taboo subjects. Sometimes a person like Katherine Stone from Postpartum Progress comes along and blows the stigma of it away – like she did with PPA/PPD. The effect she’s had on that community is amazing. When I realized I had anxiety, I looked for a community that was that open, that bold about it. And honestly, I didn’t find any. I turned to Kim, who has struggled with depression, and she felt the same. Many of you online told me you wondered about it too. Is there a community we talk openly about for depression and anxiety? This post is for those of us trying to find just that.

So you all know that I love Diana. I mean, who doesn’t? And I’m blessed to have her as a real life friend as well as blogger friend. So when she asked me (get that, she asked me ::headexplosion::) to guest post on this topic I was flattered and a little nervous. I’m here at Hormonal Imbalances. That’s huge to me. So, thanks, Diana, for thinking of me and letting me get a little taste of the big time over here at your place today. I puffy heart you.

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“Kicking Depression’s Butt”

That’s what I want on my badge. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Anxiety, Confessions · Tagged With: Guest Bloggers, Real life, Why I do what I do

It’s all I can do.

January 10, 2012 by Diana 20 Comments

Sunday night I made The Pioneer Woman’s Tuscan Bean Soup with Shrimp, (yes it was amazing) and when I cracked open a bottle of dry white cooking wine, I suddenly had a flurry of memories wash over me as the faint smell of alcohol came up.

Sitting with a glass of red wine and watching TV.

Waiting in terror for Sam to drink.

Fighting with Sam while he drank.

The screaming. The throwing. The name calling. The tears and hurt and broken promises.

Over and over. 7 1/2 years. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Anxiety, Confessions, Marriage, Sam, Thankful · Tagged With: Control Freakishness, Paranoia

We must be insane.

December 22, 2011 by Diana 44 Comments

The last few days have been rough with Bella. She’s just been in this mood; whiny, early up, hard time going to sleep, one hour naps, falling apart at the tiniest things, refusing to eat.

Mentally, I’m fried. I feel like I’m stretched to the very max. I keep tuning her out completely and half the time don’t even know what she’s whining about anymore – because it’s gone on for so long. I find myself giving in to just get silence, or snapping because I have drawn happy, sad, and scared faces, made airplanes, played, danced, and done everything I can think of.

Anyway, I realize this is just a phase and it’s not really what this post is about. What it’s about is me starting to wonder:

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Filed Under: Confessions, Family, Parenting · Tagged With: Daily Life, Frustration

The importance of girlfriends.

December 15, 2011 by Diana 16 Comments

One night during BlogHer’11 I went out to dinner with a bunch of women I’d “known” through their blogs and Twitter, and some on FB, for nearly 2 years. I was excited to be there, but the magnitude of it really didn’t hit me until halfway through. I looked around, saw the laughter, the intimate conversations between people who had read each other’s personal lives, the way we all knew things about each other, the connection so many of them had – and it hit me.

I missed, ever so desperately, having girlfriends. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Confessions, Growing Up, Thankful · Tagged With: Friends, Real life, Things that make me smile

The Anatomy of an Anxiety Attack

December 13, 2011 by Diana 6 Comments

In the past few weeks, I’ve really been working on stopping thoughts that spin out of control into full blown, “OMG RUN FOR COVER WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE” episodes. It’s hard to catch them because often I don’t even realize I’m thinking/playing the scenes in my head until I’m distracted.

But yesterday, I had one. And yes, this is all going to sound irrational to most of you. Bear with.

[Read more...]