{The Confessions of a Crunchy Housewife™}
For a long time, no matter how much money Sam and I made, we struggled with our finances. Every month was simply buying things until we ran out of money.
We’ve made really terrible decisions with our money – buying cars we didn’t need, a home we couldn’t really afford, not having any kind of budget, and using the credit card as a “freebie” account. In the 9 years we’ve been together, we’ve had to face some tough wake up calls when the time came for us to pay up.
One night during BlogHer’11 I went out to dinner with a bunch of women I’d “known” through their blogs and Twitter, and some on FB, for nearly 2 years. I was excited to be there, but the magnitude of it really didn’t hit me until halfway through. I looked around, saw the laughter, the intimate conversations between people who had read each other’s personal lives, the way we all knew things about each other, the connection so many of them had – and it hit me.
I missed, ever so desperately, having girlfriends. [Read more...]
When I worked as a daycare supervisor several years ago, I remember dreading the kids that came once or twice a week. Not because they were terrible children, but because 99% of the time they were kids of a stay at home mom.
I wasn’t a big fan of stay at home moms as a nanny or in a daycare. I found them pesty, hovering, anal, and usually convinced that their child would burst into flames and die the moment they walked out the door. I knew what I was doing, I knew their kid would be fine as long as they would stop “peeking” around the corner, and I wanted them gone. I referred to them as, “That Mom.”
I sit in the therapist’s office. Listening to what he says about finding a center to my world again.
“Do you go to church? Are you…” I hear the hesitation of someone who has innocently offended people with this question. “Spiritual?”
I nod. “I’m a Christian.”
“A church here?” he prompts.
I shake my head, instantly feeling guilty. I should have. I should be going. [Read more...]
Bella,
Last night as I sat on your bed and brushed your hair away from your face, I remembered the time I first saw you. How small and red you were. How perfect. How your tiny hiccups that had been so precious in me were now happening in my arms.
I remembered your squinty little eyes as you tried to make sense of everything around you. How you snuggled up so perfectly to me. How I knew at that moment I was complete, I had my little girl.
Besties
These past two years have brought so many changes to our little family. From you being so sick with reflux, to me knowing I could stay at home, us stopping drinking, Daddy joining the military again, and two moves to end up in El Paso – where you seem to enjoy yourself more everyday.
You have little friends, “Key” holds a special place in your heart as much as you hate her to touch your toys. When you two hold hands, her mama and I crack up at the cuteness of it all.
Us knitting.
You are fascinated with the world. Everything needs to be asked about and explored. You have the sweetest spirit with things, always making sure not to hurt something on purpose – unless it’s the kitties. Their tails hold endless fascination for you.
Your signing is amazing, you do it so well it’s made my life 100x easier. We love to watch you recognize something and sign it to us before you even say it.
Trucks - your other love
When there is something off, you get it now. You crack up at things that are silly. And when I make the kitties dance for you. Much to their chagrin.
You know family and friends. Nana, Grandpa’s, Aunties – you love them all.
Daddy and I can’t imagine life without you. You are the joy of our hearts, the little being we look forward to seeing run down the hall each morning. We are so blessed to have you, to get to share your life with you, to be the guardians of it for a time.
Birthday presents.
I pray each night you will grow up a self confident, capable woman living a life of purpose. That you will one day have a daughter that you love as much as I love you. That you know I would do anything for you. That you understand how much Daddy loves you – he changed his entire life in hopes you have a better one.
We love you more than you can imagine.
Daddy and Mama
I didn’t forget that I’m on day 14 of NaBloPoMo. We’ve just had the most jam packed day with celebrating Bella’s birthday (it’s tomorrow but Sam will be gone). Tomorrow we head out with my girlfriend here and her kiddos to go to the zoo for the morning.
It’s hard to believe that 2 years ago right now I was in labor, my mom and Sam at my side, and having absolutely no idea how much my life was about to change. [Read more...]
I'm opinionated. Sarcastic. A SAHM. Christian. A proud Army wife. I love to write. I'm crazy about cloth diapers. I struggle with anxiety.
My husband Sam is my high school sweetheart and the love of my life. After nearly 9 years of marriage we've faced PTSD, a war, alcoholism, and moving to a place we never wanted to be but ended up liking. God has continually blessed us in moving here.
One of my biggest joys in life, Bella, was born 11/09 and we're pregnant with our second - after hesitating about doing it all again.
I tend to emotionally dry heave on this blog from time to time - you've been warned.
This? This is my blog. My thoughts, feelings, faith, and life. Uncensored.
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