Yes.

You read that right.

Just don’t tell this crazy chick from 2 years ago. She might throat punch me.

As we near the end of our stay here, there are things in nearly 2 years that I’ve grown to love and become used to about this place. I’d have never thought that any part of me would be sad to move. While I’m beyond excited to head to North Carolina and TREES AND GRASS AND WATER – I’ll never think back on this place as one I hated.

After those first few months.

So here’s my list so I don’t forget:

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It’s official y’all.

We’re headed out to North Carolina (Ft Bragg) in September.

Most of you are probably thinking, “Didn’t she tell us this?” But these past 2 months have held some things that put a wrench in the initial plans. The Army wanted Sam to be there by July 10th. Meaning a June move. Meaning I’d be like 30 weeks pregnant, high risk, 4-5 days in a car, and sometimes hours away from medical care on the road.

Fail.

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Finally, after a month of ups and downs, paperwork and lost emails, and the never ending texts to poor Sam, “Any news on our PCS?” (permanent change of station) -

finally…

I can say with a little more confidence (although nothing is ever certain till you’re there)

we are moving to…

.

.

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Oh. My heart…

It was so worth the 20 years it took to come back here.

I can’t even put into words yet all that I felt. I really can’t. It’s so overwhelming and so much to process. But I have what I came for, I feel like in a way I was able to tell my childhood here goodbye, and this has been one of the biggest events in my life.

Truly. I’ll never forget it.

I’ll write it all down later – things happened here that had God’s hand all over them. One thing I wanted to share was how it was almost exactly the way I remembered it. Scenes in my head I’d replayed for so long were real – none of it was distorted or changed. I was so thankful for that, and it hit me again hat an impact living here must have had on me. No where else we ever lived made me feel this way.

So thankful I came here and got to share these moments with Erika.

My home:

The church next to us. My dad was the pastor:

Erika and me on the back porch:

Lots of tears. Healing ones. I’ll share the rest soon. But I couldn’t sleep till I told at least a little.

I think I found one of the missing pieces of my heart by coming back.

When I was a little girl, we moved. And I never got over it.

You know you love my sweats. And our rockin' bedspread. 80's flashback...

We lived in this small town in New Jersey, one of those places you see in the movies with big trees and gabled homes with shutters, and I rode the bus to school and back with my friends. We had a big backyard with honeysuckles, a neighboring barn, and a tire swing. My dad was the pastor so we lived in the church manse, but at 6 years old it was just my home.

At the time it was just me, my brother and my sister, both younger. My other little brother was born much later. Us three did everything together – forts under our bunk beds, story telling, pretending the sprinkler was a door to a magical world, and reenacting the Christmas nativity scene by wearing dishcloths on our heads. I had friends within walking distance – one of whom is Erika from NAMAmmaSTE. (more…)