Moving

Take hell. Times it by a million. And there you have it.

June 25, 2011 by Diana 14 Comments

We made it. To El Paso. I can’t say I love it. Like it. Even can tolerate it. It’s basically a hole. It’s dirty and hot and dusty. I’ve never seen anywhere so dry. Even the cactus are dying right now – no joke.

It’s 108 here today. Right now I’m laying in bed while Bella naps and Sam chooses from the 10 channels on TV.

We have no where to live so we’re stuck in a hotel that is one of the worst I’ve ever been in. Our door sticks, the shower fluctuates from scalding to freezing, they gave us a double bed and it smells. The floor is awful.

Don’t get me started on the comforter. :/

We went to look at houses today and I’m pretty freaked out at what the Army is giving us to what it means for where we can live. We ended up somewhere terrifying on one of the trips.

I’m so afraid we’ll end up in a horrible, dirty house in a bad neighborhood. Because we can’t afford more. And we can’t.

I can’t wrap my head around the fact that this is some kind of nightmare and tomorrow we’ll head back to Colorado. Where there is grass. And rain. And clouds. And I can’t see Juarez from our hotel.

Right now I hate it. Will that change? Maybe. I hope so. I’m praying my attitude changes but it’s so hard with so much up in the air, and all our hopes of finding a little house crumbling as we realize that there’s not much here.

I’m trusting God to find us the perfect place at the perfect time. And to let me see this city with new eyes, instead of the shell shocked ones I’m viewing it with right now.

Filed Under: Family, Moving, Stress ·

Toasty Warm.

June 22, 2011 by Diana 18 Comments

Ooooh, look! Just like the surface of the sun! Perfect moving weather.

Bwahahahaha!

Think of the year round tan though.

Seriously.

Filed Under: Moving, Random · Tagged With: A funny

Asking for myself

June 16, 2011 by Diana 19 Comments

This is a hard post to write. Because today my husband comes home. This post is supposed to be all smiles and rainbows, giggles and butterflies.

And there is some of that. But there is also a heavy dose of realistic.

I’m not naive enough to believe anymore that after a separation, I become a different person. I used to feel that I would be the BEST wife when my husband came home. FOREVER. His time in Iraq was so filled with fear and worry that by the time he was home, all I could think of was how we would never fight or be cross again because of what had happened. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Growing Up, Marriage, Moving, Sam ·

Shhh, don’t tell anyone…

June 4, 2011 by Diana 14 Comments

but in all honesty, I’m getting a little excited about moving.

::hears multiple head explosions::

I know, right? Because I’m trying to cram packing and moving into >3 weeks and doing it all by myself, but it’s kinda fun. Yesterday I threw out 4 trashbags full of crap we never use. I had such a rush, such a feeling of joy. Somehow this feels so familiar to me…

And here’s the other thing.

Are you ready?

Hold on to your chones.

Tight. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Confessions, Family, Growing Up, Moving · Tagged With: A funny, Changes, Head Explosions

Emptying my Thoughts

May 3, 2011 by Diana 15 Comments

I’m laying here in bed. I was trying to get to sleep early but there is too much running through my head. So I’m trying to write it out here.

I’m tired. Physically, I am worn out. Bella wakes up between 6 and 6:30 every morning. God knows why. It’s all I can do to drag myself out of bed to get her and start the day.

I do love being with her. Our days consist of trips to the park, Gymboree, museums, Target, and tomorrow the Children’s Botanical Gardens. But by the end of the day, I’m worn down. I’m short tempered and watch the clock – and I don’t like that. I try to give her my best every day but I end up feeling like I half assed it most of the time. The guilt of never measuring up to the ideal mom weighs on me. As stupid and unrealistic as that is. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Family, Moving, Sam, Stress · Tagged With: Daily Life, It won't be like this for long, Motherhood, Moving, Sleepless Nights

The Craphole of the Earth

April 13, 2011 by Diana 25 Comments

I’ve never told anyone that reads this blog where I live (unless you are on my FB page or we’ve chatted for a while and it came up) but you’re about to find out where we’ll be living.

Sam found out where we’ll be stationed in July. I was ready – he had picked Ft. Bragg in North Carolina, Ft. Stewart in Georgia, and Ft. Carson in Colorado. All of them seemed wonderful. I was rooting for the South. In fact, I was happy for anywhere but Texas. Which was a running joke between us. “Just not Texas.”

I don’t do Texas. No offense Texas people, but it’s just not my deal.

So when he called, I wanted to ask him if we got one he’d picked, but then I couldn’t wait.

Me in breathless anticipation: “Ok, wait, don’t say anything yet. Just, tell me, wait, is it, oh nevermind! Just tell me!”

Sam: “Um. Ft. Bliss.” [Read more...]