I wonder.


I wonder what these next few years hold for us.

Not worry.

Not much of that anymore. I seem to have had the anxiety about certain things taken right out of me after Kaden died.

I simply wonder.

Where will we move to? Or will we? Part of me wants a new adventure. Part of me wants to just stay here.

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On Bella and Growing Up

Bella -1

A few weeks ago it was cold outside.

It’s not anymore.

Sorry everyone else that gets a winter. I see your pics and I am also hoping spring comes soon for you all! O_o

Bella has this adorable hat that she wants to wear everywhere. She got herself all dressed on this day – and as she headed outside to play, I thought, “Wow, look how tall she’s getting.”

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Glimpses {Link Up} Week 1

One of my favorite weekly posts I did on Babble Pregnancy was uploading all my pics from the week before and talking about what was going on. Besides documenting my pregnancy with Kaden, it let everyone see what Bella, Sam, Charlie, and I were up to.

I want to continue that here – as well as sharing over at Babble Kid some of the other things we do. I don’t have any fancy slideshow plugin, but I thought it would still be fun to do. And I’m making it a link up at the bottom – so if at any time you decide to join me or just have one of your own, add it to mine so I can come see! I can’t promise I’ll do it every week, (I’m terrible at follow through y’all. Terrible.) but I’ll do my best to keep it going if you all show interest in doing it with me.

Last night we headed over to our friend’s home, Ben and Laura, to have dinner and let Bella play with their two adorable kids. It was so nice to get out for a while and have some adult conversation. Laura is starting a blog and Etsy shop very soon so stay tuned for me pimping her custom work on here. :)

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35 Weeks

I’m 35 weeks and 5 days. There are times when it shocks me to be this far along.

But then a lot of the time I’m like, “This is taking forever…” because I really want to be full term and meet him already!

I’m enjoying these last few weeks of pregnancy before our world changes again. For the better, but it’s not like I don’t remember those first sleepless months with Bella. I remember. Oh, through the fog and confusion and WHERE IS SHE OH SHE’S STRAPPED TO MY CHEST days – I do remember how it all feels.

Even though losing Preston and Julian has taught me to truly treasure moments of pregnancy/motherhood I would have never thought twice about before, the reality of the work a baby entails isn’t lost on me. Which I think it a really wonderful thing – I know what to expect and can prepare for it logically while also still being very excited and knowing I’ll survive.

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Real Life.

Some days. Are just – well. Memorable. Here’s mine so far:

Wake up to Bella sobbing. Ask her to take Charlie out. She loves doing that. She can’t get his cage open. She’s done it a billion times. Sobs. I get up. Dog out. Make breakfast. Dog pukes twice on the rug. I clean it while gagging. I shower, she falls in the tub next to it while I’m repeatedly telling her to get down. Hurts her hand. Charlie starts barking his head off outside. Clothes need washed. I have no underwear. 1 hour till we leave for her therapy. Cat litter changed. Another meltdown. Cat gets outside. He turns up 20 minutes later madder than heck. I give him his medicine and he foams it back up in anger. We leave. Bella drinks a half gallon of water from her sippy and screams when I take it away telling her we’re not stopping to pee. In a moment of genius I buy her a chocolate milk. 15 minutes later we’re stuck in miles of traffic due to a massive car accident. She has to pee. I can’t exit. I tell therapist we’ll be late. Bella’s bawling she has to pee so bad. We finally pull off and there are no gas stations. Anywhere. We pull into a parking lot and she pees by the side of the car while bawling about the pee going under the car. Back in. Chocolate milk explodes all over her. More sobs. I hand her a wipe but it does nothing. Traffic lessens. We get to therapy 15 minutes late after a solid hour in the car. She has to pee. Again. We go. Therapist comes out and Bella announces to the entire room she’s peed her pants (it’s chocolate milk) and bawls when I tell her she didn’t. Everyone stares at me. She heads back. I collapse in chair. I write this while waiting for her because it’s just too much real life to pass up.

Mornin’ y’all. Here’s to a barf/sob/pee free afternoon.

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