Prayers {& a Baby Name!}

I don’t even know how to begin posts asking for prayer anymore.

Don’t anyone worry – it’s not about something that’s wrong. Everything with me and this baby are ok. But, we asked our doctor today to refer us for a fetal echocardiogram (a detailed ultrasound of the heart that can also measure blood flow) to rule out cardiomyopathy. Her heart looks great on the bi-weekly ultrasounds – but again, so did Kaden’s. Always.

We weren’t sure what they would say, thankfully they all agreed that it was an absolutely legitimate request due to our history. It needs to be done fairly soon, so we should know by the end of this week/start of next if our insurance approved it, and if not – can we afford to pay out-of-pocket for one to be done.

Why I say I don’t know how to ask for prayers is simple – I have no idea what to ask for anymore. I don’t want to consider prayer the “magic lamp” of life, but it’s hard to get away from that mentality. If I pray right, things will be ok. Thousands of you prayed for Kaden and I’m sure covered about every possible thing, and yet… So that leaves me a bit empty-handed before God, shuffling around without words and wondering at times why I bother praying at all.

But here we stand again, believing that prayer is more than getting what we want, and knowing that some of you are deeply engaged in praying for us and this baby – and we love that. I often think of the people who told me, “I printed out what you needed prayer on this time around” – just wow. That moves me to tears.

As I thought of how to write this, my heart was prompted to share her name, so that those of you who are praying can use it.

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Hope Intertwined

It’s fairly easy to talk myself into a “rational” state this pregnancy. For a while.

I will not get too invested. Invested just enough.

I will not plan for after.

I will not allow myself to daydream too much.

I will stay calm and practical about this all.

I will not be surprised by pain again. I will be prepared.

However that happens.

And then I feel baby kicks. I see her little face on the screen, her hands waving wildly. I hear Bella say her name, and watch Sam put his head on my stomach to talk to her. I carry her with me everywhere I go, my mind wanders to a nursery theme, cloth diapers, packing a hospital bag.

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20 weeks and ciHHV-6 Fundraising

Today we had our 20 week ultrasound. This one truly was all about the baby’s health, we knew gender with the Verifi test at like 12 weeks, we’d had a pretty thorough scan of her organs at 18. One thing they couldn’t see were all the heart chambers. We were told it was normal, they’d check again in 2 weeks. She was only 7 ounces and bouncing around like crazy in there.

But still. With our history waiting two weeks was a little rough.

Thankfully, everything in her heart is in place and positioned ok. We’re still going to ask for a fetal echocardiogram to check blood flow, because Kaden’s heart was also great and then it just wasn’t. Nothing structurally wrong with his at all, simply the weakened valves.

So far though – everything is looking good.

Here she is!  [Read more…]

About a Girl

I look down at my growing stomach (4th pregnancy isn’t joking around y’all) and it’s so odd after two pregnancies and three boys and six boy names to know this one is a girl.

I’m excited for Bella to have a sister, and I’m honestly really excited to do girl stuff all over again. I saved many of Bella’s things. Hauled it through all our moves. Stored it in the closets. When I was toward the end of my pregnancy with Kaden, Sam and I talked about having one more.

I’d had a feeling pretty early on that this baby might be a girl, since my morning sickness pattern was so close to being pregnant with Bella. I didn’t take any medication with her for that until second trimester, so I remembered it really well. And this time, no meds again since we don’t know what triggers a ciHHV-6 activation.

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We Are Having A…

Friday our doctor’s office called us with testing results, I’d had the verifi Prenatal test (p.s. I have no affiliation with them, just linking since it’s rather new to the testing game) which is why we found out gender so early. Everything is fine – it doesn’t change the risk with ciHHV-6, but it does eliminate other issues or complications. That’s why we opted to do this, in case there was something that might be a bigger risk with ciHHV-6.

And then the nurse asked, “Would you like to know the gender?” It was one of those moments where the whole world stops for a second – you know whatever words come next are going to change your life. And they did. I started to cry and told her, “You just made my whole day,” and she was so excited – it was wonderful.

So then once we knew, and Bella knew we knew (and wasn’t about to wait to find out), I ran out and bought balloons, came home and searched for a box – finding the only one big enough but barely fit in. Then we realized my camera battery was dead. And once Bella opened the box, the jammed in balloons didn’t come out and Sam had to help her pry them out and I forgot to turn the phone the right way and then the video was a mess to try to clip together –

Bella Gender Reveal 1

Best laid plans y’all. So I scrapped it, did a short clip of her cutest moment, and found one of my favorite pics I snapped.

Ready? :) Turn up your sound, she gives a little squeal that melts my heart.

(not sure if it was because of the gender or just the fact that she loves balloons that.much.)

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