When He’s Gone

When He's Gone

Sam left at 2:30 this morning, waking me up with a kiss and a hug. He’s off to the field for 5-6 weeks, and one weekend he’ll be able to come home.

It’s not so much the timespan anymore of him being gone. 6 weeks is long but it’s not 18 months. He’s not in harm’s way. We’ll actually get to talk this time, unlike the last two trips when he’s had no internet/cell service at all.

What I miss the most is his presence. Right now, I kind of cling to anything that makes me happy. Which is probably why I can’t lose weight but that’s another story… I love having our evenings together, to set the table before he comes home and have dinner ready. I look forward to our weekends with each other. He’s such a good daddy, it makes our life so lovely to know he wants to be with us as much as we do him.

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The Price of Love

It’s 11:30am here. We’re all on the couch, Jynx curled up on Bella’s lap as she plays with her animals. Sam is playing SkyRim. On Saturdays I usually get up before him to tidy up the house, so now it’s rather clean and I’m pleased.

We had a very, very hard therapy session yesterday. Sam goes with me each Friday and we have art therapy together. At first I thought it was going to be pretty dumb – would I be drawing pictures of sad faces and having them interpret colors? But the more we get into this, the more challenging it is. It’s not about the process so much as it makes us use an entirely different part of our brain. I usually end up crying about things that I thought I was pretty much over, or remembering parts of the past two years I haven’t thought of in forever.

It’s not magic or anything. In fact it’s pretty incredible how our brains are designed. I’m even more awed by our perfect creation through this.

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Our Ultimate #TasteOff Vlog: Yoplait vs. Chobani Greek Yogurts

This article is sponsored by Yoplait, all opinions are my own (and Sam’s, and Bella’s). Grab a coupon for their new Greek yogurt here

We love yogurt. All kinds. I’m a big fan of plain, whole milk yogurt. Gosh I love it. Sam thinks that it is absolutely disgusting that I can eat it right out of the carton without anything on it.

It probably is. I don’t care. He likes pork jerky. ::throws up in mouth::

He loves Chobani® greek yogurt. Bella loves it all.

So when Yoplait® included us in their yogurt #TasteOff for the new Yoplait® Greek Blueberry against the Chobani® Greek Blueberry, I knew it was going to interesting to see which one we picked, but especially for Sam. He takes a Chobani® with him to work every day, and I wondered if he’d be able to tell (blindfolded).

Yoplait vs Chobani Greek Yogurt #TasteOff-1 We decided to do a short vlog on him tasting each yogurt, and the results. Bella loved doing this, even though the first time we tried she smeared yogurt all over him completely and we had to do that again. The Chobani® was the first. Then he took a drink of water. The Yoplait® was the second. He really and truly didn’t know which was which – we had to pause the video for it to all fit in the time span of 15 seconds!

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Thoughts and Favorites on a Sunday

I’m playing around with Amazon’s affiliate program to see what I think, so some of these will be affiliate links. It pays me a small percent from anything purchased. Thanks! 

Today I ordered Kaden’s birth certificate.

It’s taken me nearly 5 months to do that. I suppose the hospitals give you one usually. If you leave and your baby is still alive. I don’t remember anymore.

I had to do this for Preston and Julian too. The funeral home gives us the death, we have to order the birth. Even though I’m just sitting here typing words into the site, it’s like someone is taking a hammer to my heart and screaming, “MAKE IT STOP HE SHOULD BE HERE.”

Instead I get to order them so we can get his life insurance. Isn’t that nice? We get more money because another child of ours died.

We just stuck the twin’s money in savings after making a few donations. Neither Sam or I had any idea what to do with it, but it ended up helping us tremendously in Dallas for Kaden.

I feel angry just thinking about how messed up that all is.

Maybe we’ll use some of it to take Bella on a trip this year.

Christmas Tree

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4 Years Ago

4 years ago today I sat down on a clunky desktop and typed out this post. I was tired. I was bored. I was stuck inside all day with a 2 month old.

I missed writing and had been sucked into blogs by Beth Anne and Ashley‘s way of writing their lives for an audience.

4 years.

How long did I struggle with coming to terms of writing on here?

This has been a much different story on here than I imagined 4 years ago. I never thought I’d have documented almost losing our first home, watching Sam rejoin the military, a move to El Paso, or deciding to homeschool.

I’ve chronicled Bella’s life and her milestones, announced twins, an adoption, and another baby. This blog holds three of the start to finish lives of my sons. I’ve cried and grieved and railed against God. I’ve fallen in love with my husband all over again and again.

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