Thankful

First Midwife Appointment – I was listened to.

February 3, 2012 by Diana 17 Comments

It’s taken me all evening and night to process how to write the impact of a caring medical person on a nervous to-be mother. But when I walked into my midwife’s clinic yesterday, I knew from the moment I met the first nurse that this was it. I had found the place I needed to be as long as we are here.

I went a bundle of nerves, and when the nurse asked me to pee in the cup so she could dip the stick, I had the thought, “Oh my, what if she tells me I’m not pregnant? How embarrassing would that be?”

I still am. Since the paralyzing morning sickness wasn’t enough to convince me. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Babies, Family, Pregnancy, Thankful · Tagged With: Birth, Look what I found, Midwives, New and Improved, Things that make me smile

4 weeks 3 days pregnant {and how we all found out}

January 18, 2012 by Diana 57 Comments

Yes, I’m telling everyone very early about being pregnant (announced it here yesterday). I’ve gotten a few (non-evil) comments over how early I am, and while I don’t feel I need to explain (after all, it’s my body and Sam and I are comfortable with our decision) I kind of want to explain.

I found out last Thursday at around 11am. Bella and I had gone for a playdate to my girlfriend Tanya’s home, and I was feeling sick. She laughingly suggested I take a pregnancy test, but I knew the chances of me seeing a line at that point were slim to none. But I figured it couldn’t hurt and she had a few left over.

30 seconds later I was staring at this:

Water droplets - I promise.

My mind couldn’t quite wrap around it.

And then. I did what I vowed as a second time mother to be I would never do. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Pregnancy, Sam, Thankful · Tagged With: Motherhood, Things that make me smile

It’s all I can do.

January 10, 2012 by Diana 20 Comments

Sunday night I made The Pioneer Woman’s Tuscan Bean Soup with Shrimp, (yes it was amazing) and when I cracked open a bottle of dry white cooking wine, I suddenly had a flurry of memories wash over me as the faint smell of alcohol came up.

Sitting with a glass of red wine and watching TV.

Waiting in terror for Sam to drink.

Fighting with Sam while he drank.

The screaming. The throwing. The name calling. The tears and hurt and broken promises.

Over and over. 7 1/2 years. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Anxiety, Confessions, Marriage, Sam, Thankful · Tagged With: Control Freakishness, Paranoia

2 years.

January 7, 2012 by Diana 8 Comments

Today I’ve been blogging for two years. This is my 539th post.

::throws confetti::

I love my blog. Fiercely. There is a part of me in here. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Blogging, Thankful, Working, Writing · Tagged With: Blogging, Why I do what I do

What Blogging Does.

December 31, 2011 by Diana 21 Comments

This year has flown by and as I sit here at my desk, reflecting on how many times I thought about no longer blogging, I know how glad I am I never did. I am so, so thankful for this blog. For the discovery that what I do, is indeed, writing. Blogging can be a love of mine and it isn’t weird, or just leading to something “real.” I’ve made true friendships with some of you all, poured my heart out to people who come back every day and cheer me on.

I know that when I’m here, when I’m writing, someone out there feels just the way I do. That when you disagree, I learn. When you voice your thoughts, my world opens up to new ideas. That when I feel like the odd ball out, the mom who wants to homeschool, the parent who doesn’t have cable, confesses to being a control freak, or the wife who loves a recovering alcoholic but felt helpless – someone speaks up and says, “Me too.”

And you can’t even begin to imagine what that has done for me. The girl who never, ever felt like she fit in till just this past year. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Blogging, Thankful ·