Every night I stay up as late as I can, until my eyes are so tired they barely stay open. Sam’s already asleep. I’m on my phone, or reading, and I just find something to do until I have to go to bed.

It’s been this way for months now. If I lay in bed long, thoughts of Kaden overwhelm me. I’ll start to cry, my nose plugs up, my eyes and face hurt. It’s awful and I hate it, so I’d rather just fall asleep right away.

When I lost the twins, my OB gave me Ambien or something to allow me to fall asleep – because the flashbacks were brutal. I took them for about a week and stopped. I’ve never been good with meds, they really affect me.

Other than my mind meds. Those work.

This time around I didn’t want anything like Ambien. I didn’t add or change anything at all. But it’s been hard. There are times I wish there was something that would just knock me out from 8-8 without any drowsy side effects.

[Read more...]

Not Strep. Just a Hot Mess With Flashbacks.

I’ve been sick since Sunday. Every day it’s gotten slightly worse – and the very worst is night and morning. But I figured it would just run its course and be done soon.

This morning I woke up with a throat so swollen I almost couldn’t breath and my ears feeling like they were going to explode from the pressure.

So we headed out to the ER (no urgent cares here take our military insurance) and waited. And waited.

2014-04-30 11.17.13

It was the same hospital I’d been in nearly 2 years ago to the day when my water broke with the twins. The initial hospital I was taken to by ambulance and left in the hallway at.

[Read more...]

Origami Owl Lockets: a Flash Valentine’s Day Giveaway!

2014-02-13 05.15.45

My dear friend Laura designed an Origami Owl locket for me after Kaden died. It was so perfect – each little piece in it meant so much to me. I had heard of them before, but owning one was really something special. The fact that she took the time to pick out an elephant, baby feet, his birthstone – I felt incredibly loved.

Since then, it’s been neat to see what other’s lockets hold. I want to share the love with you all:

I’ve paired up with Jamie who owns her own Origami Owl business for a flash Valentine’s Day giveaway. Were going to give one of you an Origami Owl locket – either for yourself or to give away (it makes a pretty incredible gift, take it from me). The winner will receive a Medium Silver Living Locket4 Charms of choice, and 24”-26” Silver Rolo Chain.


Here’s a little more on Jamie and the Origami Owl story. Then enter via Rafflecopter below!
[Read more...]

Our Ultimate #TasteOff Vlog: Yoplait vs. Chobani Greek Yogurts

This article is sponsored by Yoplait, all opinions are my own (and Sam’s, and Bella’s). Grab a coupon for their new Greek yogurt here

We love yogurt. All kinds. I’m a big fan of plain, whole milk yogurt. Gosh I love it. Sam thinks that it is absolutely disgusting that I can eat it right out of the carton without anything on it.

It probably is. I don’t care. He likes pork jerky. ::throws up in mouth::

He loves Chobani® greek yogurt. Bella loves it all.

So when Yoplait® included us in their yogurt #TasteOff for the new Yoplait® Greek Blueberry against the Chobani® Greek Blueberry, I knew it was going to interesting to see which one we picked, but especially for Sam. He takes a Chobani® with him to work every day, and I wondered if he’d be able to tell (blindfolded).

Yoplait vs Chobani Greek Yogurt #TasteOff-1 We decided to do a short vlog on him tasting each yogurt, and the results. Bella loved doing this, even though the first time we tried she smeared yogurt all over him completely and we had to do that again. The Chobani® was the first. Then he took a drink of water. The Yoplait® was the second. He really and truly didn’t know which was which – we had to pause the video for it to all fit in the time span of 15 seconds!

[Read more...]

Homeschool Day in the Life {Right Now} and a Little About Us

Today I’m writing on one of the sites that has changed our homeschool thought process completely. While so many of the homeschool blogs I love offer printables, ideas, etc (and they are fabulous), Simple Homeschool offers deep, insightful looks into the process of schooling children at home.

Lately the editor Jamie (find her e-books here) has been doing a fantastic series on what a day in the life looks like with homeschooling. I loved reading them, but (as is pretty normal with homeschool) I found most of them were on bigger families that included older children. I’m so excited to share with you on what a day in our PreK homeschool life looks like right now with just Bella. 

You can read it here.

If you’re new to my blog, welcome. Please feel free to look around, read about our lives with the tabs above this post. We are a family of 3 on earth, 3 in heaven. Bella is 4 and the light of my husband Sam’s and my life. Our most profound story is of losing our 3 sons, Preston and Julian – identical twins born too soon at 20 weeks in May of 2012, and Kaden – born this past August full term and found to have a rare heart condition and virus which he passed away from 3 weeks later. We are in the process of rebuilding our lives without knowing quite where to turn right now.

You’ll also find out about our life as a military family, a marriage of nearly 11 years after being high school sweethearts, and how writing is my passion both on this blog and several other sites I write for.

We recently had Land of Nod come out to set up an entire homeschool room for us, then shoot it for an upcoming catalog.

I’m also on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest. Follow me on BlogLovin‘ or subscribe by email.

Thanks for coming over and reading a little more on us!


You can find some of my other recent writings here: