2015 Resolution: Change Someone Else’s Life

I thought this song by the amazing Kari Jobe was perfect to go with this post. 

So this year I decided to actually make some resolutions since the past 3 years I haven’t really done any. As I was thinking them through, I felt a little nagging voice asking, “Changing your world is great. It is. How about including others in this too?”

Y’all – what if we changed someone else’s life too this year? What if we looked back in December and could see the impact we made in a life or lives we didn’t even know existed before this day?

World Vision Child Sponsorship 4

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They Are Waiting

I’ve had people ask me excitedly, “How was Zimbabwe?” and honestly, I never know what to say. How do you sum up 12 days of an otherworldly, life changing, soul piercing experience into a few sentences?

Zimbabwe with World Vision 2014

“It was good – life changing.”

So much happened there that I don’t even know where to begin. Even on here.

As time passes, I’ll be able to share more stories in depth. One at a time. To think of trying to do it all in a post or two – well there’s no way. You’d be reading a small novel on here. I need to process them, and often in the meantime they tie into my life in America in unexpected ways. It’s then that I feel that little rush to write about it, and then when it comes out the best.

Even the plane rides were an out of body experience. [Read more…]

Lost and {Hoping to be} Found

It’s been nearly three weeks since I wrote on here. Mostly because I have been a bit too overwhelmed to write how I’m feeling. And even typing that makes me want to close the computer.

I’m tired of feeling like this. I don’t know what else to say. I often wish that I could go back to 3 years ago and make the decision to just have Bella – like we were on the verge of doing. I flipped through old pictures on Instagram yesterday – way back to when I wasn’t even pregnant with the twins, and my heart hurt. I saw this girl who was happy. Young. Vibrant.

I don’t even know where she went – or when I lost her. But I hardly recognize her anymore. In fact, by the end I felt so envious of my former self I had to shut off my phone for a while. (hashtag healthy right there y’all)

Then something hit me – there was hardly any Jesus in those pictures. I don’t even remember thinking about my faith a whole lot. A snap of a devotional once in a while. A Bible verse. Would I trade my faith now in for the easier, carefree me? Or the little glimpses of knowing my sons?

Everything is so different. Writing that feels like I’m complaining, but I don’t think I am. Just – struggling.

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We Have This Hope

Screenshot 2014-10-20 13.19.43 Last week I was hired to write for mom.me. I’m really, really excited to be a part of their group; they have some of my very favorite people with them.

I’ll be writing with their Parenting section, similar to what I write with Babble but with more of an edge for snark/humor at times. So while I try to avoid anything super confrontational on here, it may be that you read my writing there and get a bit bristly at times. That’s ok! We can still love each other with prickles. ;) It’s simply a different direction to my writing and voice, and it helps me to branch out.

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Pondering Fulfillment

Life is a funny thing. I often wonder if anyone ever feels the way I do about it – that this isn’t at all what I expected it to be. Not all bad – just so different. Will it all come together at some point in an “AHA!” moment? Will I ever see the purpose behind this pain – enough of a purpose that I can use it to propel forward? Or will it just be a series of little moments that never really string together? I think of all the things I’d love to do…

I want to write a book. I’ve wanted to on and off for a while, but these past few months – well, probably since Kaden died – I’ve felt this urge to write one.

I know what it’ll be about.

I know the title.

I have the chapters in my head.

I’ve read about traditional publishing and self publishing and even contacted a company that helps self publish.

Then I sit down and become paralyzed by writing a whole book. (And yes, even breaking it into chapters is still overwhelming because it’s chapters of a whole book lol.) I over think it – where do I begin? Do I plan out the book in those idea bubbles? Research? Just start writing?

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