This week has been an odd one. I’ve had a lot of hospital flashbacks. A lot of memories that have popped up about our time with Kaden that I haven’t thought of in a while.
Wednesday was 7 months. The day itself wasn’t any harder than others – except as time gets further out I realize how very lonely grief can be. Again.
I miss Kaden so desperately, which even writing turns into feeling guilty about not writing on the twins more. But his was so – profoundly shattering. I miss the way he smelled, even when it was of all the medicine being pumped into him. I miss how much he looked like Bella. I miss the way he turned his little head towards me when we were near him, how he knew the sound of our voices. I miss his little eyes staring up at mine, blinking and looking ever so carefully at us.