“Chawie” Gets an Upgrade

This shop is part of a social shopper marketing insight campaign with Pollinate Media Group® and Purina One, but all my opinions are my own. #pmedia #ONEDifference

We love Charlie – or as Bella calls him “Chawie.” He’s been a part of our family for 2 years next month and, while there are days he drives me absolutely insane, I don’t know what we’d do without him.

Purina One 28 Day Challenge

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Telling Our Stories

I finished The Book Thief last night. It took me two nights.

It was probably one of the best books I’ve ever read. A bit hard to get into, but once I understood what was going on, I couldn’t put it down.

Even though many times I wanted to.

When the main character, Liesel, goes through loss after loss in such detail – I felt tears fall down my cheeks. It’s rare for me to cry from a book, but it happens. Charlotte’s Web. Anne of Green Gables when Matthew dies. I can’t remember the last time I cried as an adult though.

In a small way (because I am not ever going to relate my pain to those who horrifically suffered time and again in Nazi Germany) I felt what she was feeling. I knew the shock, the screaming, the disbelief of the death of someone you love. I was there, I felt her hesitation when happiness came and she wondered when it would end, and end in tragedy.

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Thoughts and Pics on a Friday

It’s 8am here, and Sam and Bella are still passed out in the beds, so I snuck out to get Charlie up and have a few moments to myself. I love having all of us home for long weekends like this one, but I also crave alone time during it as well. So instead of being cranky that I didn’t get a chance to write or drink coffee in silence, I carved out that time.

Maybe in my old age I’m learning some self discipline.

So what’s new – let me see. Well, coming home from California we had an oversold flight in Vegas. Bella and I gave up our seats for a flight an hour later, and scored two tickets to anywhere Southwest flies, anytime. That was pretty sweet.

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California Dreamin’

Gosh this place smells amazing.

Seriously. I think when you live in El Paso and you visit somewhere else – you realize how other places smell so good.

So we’re out in Santa Clara for my grandma’s 90th birthday. Bella and I flew out Thursday and, after delays and a nearly missed connecting flight, we arrived to a pretty sweet hotel here.

It’s so green and gorgeous. Growing up, we made the trip out here pretty frequently to see my extended family, so this area is like a second home. It’s different coming out here and then heading back to El Paso. There is a part of me that wishes we lived somewhere green and lush, and a part of me that wishes I’d not taken living in San Diego for granted at the start of our marriage.

I do know that a lot of that attitude had to do with me not being thankful/happy for much of anything. I was always searching for the next better thing.

El Paso has taught me such a valuable lesson about truly being able to be content and love where you are – not just long for where you wish you were.

That view comes from some very hard lessons and God – not my own specially smart brain. ;)

California 2

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Night

Every night I stay up as late as I can, until my eyes are so tired they barely stay open. Sam’s already asleep. I’m on my phone, or reading, and I just find something to do until I have to go to bed.

It’s been this way for months now. If I lay in bed long, thoughts of Kaden overwhelm me. I’ll start to cry, my nose plugs up, my eyes and face hurt. It’s awful and I hate it, so I’d rather just fall asleep right away.

When I lost the twins, my OB gave me Ambien or something to allow me to fall asleep – because the flashbacks were brutal. I took them for about a week and stopped. I’ve never been good with meds, they really affect me.

Other than my mind meds. Those work.

This time around I didn’t want anything like Ambien. I didn’t add or change anything at all. But it’s been hard. There are times I wish there was something that would just knock me out from 8-8 without any drowsy side effects.

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