Frustration

We must be insane.

December 22, 2011 by Diana 44 Comments

The last few days have been rough with Bella. She’s just been in this mood; whiny, early up, hard time going to sleep, one hour naps, falling apart at the tiniest things, refusing to eat.

Mentally, I’m fried. I feel like I’m stretched to the very max. I keep tuning her out completely and half the time don’t even know what she’s whining about anymore – because it’s gone on for so long. I find myself giving in to just get silence, or snapping because I have drawn happy, sad, and scared faces, made airplanes, played, danced, and done everything I can think of.

Anyway, I realize this is just a phase and it’s not really what this post is about. What it’s about is me starting to wonder:

[Read more...]

Filed Under: Confessions, Family, Parenting · Tagged With: Daily Life, Frustration

To BC or not to BC. And to find a midwife.

December 8, 2011 by Diana 9 Comments

This morning I get the missing Mirena out.

Hopefully. :/

::must stay positive::

And then with it out – the question remains of what’s next. Do we use FAM for prevention?

Or to expand our family? [Read more...]

Filed Under: Babies, Opinions · Tagged With: Decisions, FAIL, Frustration

I cheated. Then I paid for it.

November 30, 2011 by Diana 23 Comments

I got a “half caff” latte at Starbucks this morning. I was so tired, even after Gymboree I just couldn’t shake it. The yawn, the heavy eyes, I felt as if I needed a little pick me up. A almost decaf coffee wouldn’t do anything but give me that extra, much craved jolt.

Oh. I was jolted alright. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Confessions, Stress · Tagged With: FAIL, Frustration, Paranoia

I wish I could say it’s all better.

November 18, 2011 by Diana 20 Comments

Saw the therapist yesterday.

I have anxiety. Big time.

I also have PTSD. Which I didn’t believe because I’ve never been in a war, saw someone die, get shot, etc. But the therapist said that because the past 6 years in our home have been so traumatic in many ways, and we’ve just moved on to the next big deal each time, it’s built up. Till things trigger me and I can’t get past them. I react the same way over and over. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Confessions, Stress · Tagged With: Frustration, Real life, Reasons to save for for therapy

Whining.

November 8, 2011 by Diana 17 Comments

I’m so flippin’ exhausted.

Sam is gone all week. This is the second week of it and we have one more to go. He comes home on the weekends and then, because he’s been working 24 hours a day for 5 days, he wants to relax and I want to as well and Bella does not.

Bella is being awful. This morning she pulled my hair so hard that I almost came uncorked. I hate when she does that. Then at Gymboree she did it again while I was holding her, and refused to stand up when I put her down. So she ended up falling on the floor while I tried to catch her and it looked like I shoved her to the ground. Another mom threw me a dirty look.

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Filed Under: Army Life, Confessions, Family, Stress, Working · Tagged With: A funny, FAIL, Frustration, Real life, Sleepless Nights

The WAHM dilemma

October 12, 2011 by Diana 21 Comments

I might be stellar at housecleaning.

::snort::

Or at least that seems to be the impression you all got on Monday. Which isn’t quite accurate but whatever.

But I’m struggling a bit with finding a good rhythm in the work at home mom gig. Mostly the time it takes for me to get writing done with Bella at home. I simply can’t do it all during her nap or at night. During her nap I do dinner prep, laundry, and cleaning – then I write. (Not judging if you don’t. That’s just me.) So in order to meet deadlines for BlogHer, book reviews, and the publications I freelance for – as well as all the things life throws at me – there are times I have to be on here when Bella is up.

And she does not like that one bit. [Read more...]